#guess I should tag this for ref purposes…

[im-no-jedi]

I’ve begun the process of customizing the doll bae, so this’ll be the official progress thread of his modifications✨

here’s what he looked like to start:

thankfully I don’t have to do much with his hair other than cutting and styling it, which is what I’ve done today. I’m always nervous cutting doll hair cause I’ve ruined so many of them in the past 😅

I thought about layering his hair a bit, but I’m not practiced enough with that, so it’s just gonna stay one length. I can layer it later if I want to. the most important thing is the front of his hair, which is pretty choppy. I’m sectioning each portion for trimming, and uhh this is what he looks like LOL:

he’s not having much fun 😂

honestly, this part wasn’t much fun for me either cause I have to use gel to keep the different portions separate, and hair gel is quite sticky so yeah 😬 full styling will take some time since I have to wait for the gel to dry, but the initial cut and style for his hair is basically done! here’s the result:

I’m not sure yet how I’m gonna get the little danglies to stay down, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out 😋

bonus pic of mini me giving him some company while waiting for his hair to dry (and holding onto his shirt for him 😉):

yes I am wearing the pants he came with. don’t act surprised 😝

time to make his bandana!✨

[kunikinnie]

kunikida wants to hold hands

BSD: Love is War? 100 Followers Event Genre: fluff Word count: 2k Warnings: none, I think Synopsis: This not-a-date couldn't get any worse. a/n: gotta make Kunikida happy somewhere, right? HAHAHAH AFTER 2 YEARS!!! also tagging @requiem626k! finally did it omg (also there's an Ace Attorney ref there somewhere hope someone notices heh)

This was not a date. 

That, dear readers, was the hundredth iteration of that very phrase in Kunikida’s mind. The ceaseless reminders were necessary for him to stay grounded in reality - or so he said.

Sure, he was in an amusement park. Sure, he was walking around with you. Sure, you were wearing clothes that were far more flattering on you than your usual.

But no. This was not a date. 

Your clients were chatting away in their line for one of the rides up to the very moment they entered it.

“It’s great that they’re having fun,” you said before licking your ice cream. It would be a shame if they hired bodyguards just so that they could have a “date” only for it to bore them, you thought.

“True, but don’t let it get to your head.” Your coworker’s eyes were fixed on your cone. “We’re not here to have fun.”

“I know. It’s still such a waste, though.”

You readjusted how you sat on the concrete bench, accidentally grazing his hand in the process. When you first entered the Agency, you used to apologize immediately after any accidental physical contact. However, years of working with your then superior have made you comfortable enough to ignore it.

For him, however, it was the complete opposite: the more he got to know you, the more he’d become mental over every single touch of yours, no matter how minor. 

That one just now was the 17th of that day alone - nearly thrice the daily average. Worse is that they lasted longer and had more skin contact than the average as well. Were you doing this on purpose? Or were you just that dense?

With how fast these numbers were rising, it’s no surprise how his blood pressure was about to set a new record.

“But we have to blend in somehow, right?”

“We’re already wearing casual clothes, Y/N.”

“Yeah, but we still don’t look like the others here - you know what I mean?”

Of course he knew what you meant. Most people that would visit an amusement park on a weekday were either students who had nothing better to do or couples whose schedules only allowed for these days. Guess which demographic happened to fill up the entire area during your mission.

…so what were you suggesting he did? Move closer? Win you stuff? Hold your hand? Because if you really wanted to, he would do any of those - even all of them at once. 

“We need to stay professional,” he said without missing a beat.

“Oh, just loosen up. Come on. You look like an annoyed dad forced to chaperone his teenage daughter with how deep your forehead lines are.”

At this point, he was used to your teasing, but still… annoyed dad? Really? Kunikida furrowed his eyebrows even further. “What should I look like, then?”

You stared at him, gears almost visibly turning. Under the scrutiny of your gaze he felt like the very ice cream that was melting in your hands. “Like this, maybe?”

Before he could guess what you were about to do, he felt something fluffy but stiff hug his head. It must have been a silly headband of sorts, judging from your barely-contained laughter - what the heck was it exactly?

He took the mystery headband off and stared at it. It was a pair of bunny ears.

“I thought you didn’t want us to stick out?”

“You wouldn’t stick out if you weren’t such a killjoy,” you grumbled. “At least you’d look cute with those on.”

 C-cute?

“Anyway, they're about to go to the next ride,” you said as you picked up your things and prepared to leave. “We should get moving too and stay professional.”

Ouch. A direct arrow to the heart. “Y-yes, got it.”

—

Unfortunately, Kunikida’s professionalism dwindled even further. But no, it wasn’t because of you. Well, yes, but actually no. 

The question of acting like a couple for the sake of the mission had been tossed around in his head countless times. Each and every assignment was given utmost importance and must be completed successfully at all means necessary. Had it been anyone else, Kunikida wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

But this is you were talking about. Something as simple as holding your hand was sending him into overdrive. Sure, he could hide his feelings as best as he could the whole day if needed, but what if he screwed up somehow and ended up putting you in an awkward position? Worse, what if you caught on behind his hidden motivations and rejected him in the middle of a mission? 

That would suck. Hard.

Plus, knowing that Dazai skipped work today and recently purchased a pair of binoculars, Kunikida was intent on not slipping up. What if that bastard were to take photos and tease him - worse, you, about it?

That would suck. Even harder.

“Are you okay, Kunikida-san?”

No, no he was not. “I-It’s a bit colder today than I expected.” It couldn’t be further from the truth - if anything, he wanted to sit forever under the shade - but it was the first excuse his dazed mind could come up with.

“Really? That’s new. You always come prepared.” 

Well, he was prepared with dealing with the situation at hand (i.e. lying), but it wouldn’t be right to say he was prepared to deal with his emotions for the rest of the day. If he were, he wouldn’t have had to stick to a stupid lie like this in the first place… although the temptation to use it as a reason to hold your hand was flipping his brain inside out.

But he was Kunikida Doppo. Professional detective of the professional Armed Detective Agency. He must not ruin his image any further. “It happens to all of us-”

He was cut off by a sudden draping of gentle warmth - you had put your own jacket over his shoulders. The astonishment left him speechless, staring at you like he had violated you somehow.

“Don’t worry about me. I literally just ate ice cream - you think I feel cold?”

“But-”

“It’s fine.” You smiled so sweetly to ease him but the guilt only continued to swallow him up. “Think about it as thanks for everything you’ve done for me.”

If that’s how you want to put it, then he had no reason to refuse. But that didn’t change the truth. How shameful of him, really. What a terrible senior, let alone aspiring boyfriend he was. If he were to receive any punishment for his acts, he would accept it gladly. He’d atone for his sins and live as a renewed man.

…and it seems someone above heard his prayer.

The two of you were now standing in front of the attraction your clients just entered.

“D-do we have to go in?” He asked meekly.

“I mean, shouldn’t we? If someone wanted to hurt them, the haunted house is the perfect choice. It’s dark, pretty isolated, and they could easily pose as one of the actors.”

Yes, you were right. You were absolutely right. The haunted house is the perfect choice in more ways than one… 

And just as he promised, Kunikida accepted his fate and walked into the realm of his worst nightmares.

Stoic as he was, you still took notice of his strange behavior. Despite the dim lighting you saw his face turn pale and his grip on your small jacket tighten significantly. Only then did your other senior’s words echo in your mind.

Nothing’s better than watching a horror movie with Kunikida-kun! 

Ah. How brave of him to enter then, you thought.

But to him, it was a foolish decision. It was the most foolishly made foolish decision he made that day as his mistakes had made themselves known once more. Just the heat from the additional jacket increased his sweat production, and his clammy hands nearly tore through the fabric. Never mind that you witnessed him like this now; at this point he’s so done the only desire he had left was not to tarnish the reputation of the Agency to your clients.

Although his senses were bombarded in almost every way possible, he forced them all to focus on the two in front of him - as if there were no one else, including you - and soon, it eased him by at least 20%. Then suddenly, an unaccounted 20% decrease relieved him as well - why that was the case he wasn’t sure.

He didn’t give the last observation much thought, however. By the time his brain slowly began to function again, you and your clients finally made it out of the house. Alive.

“I see why it’s pretty famous,” you chirped. “It really was scary!” 

You didn’t even seem bothered at all. Well, as long as you and your clients had fun, then all his suffering would not go in vain-

 Wait, since when was he holding your hand? 

“Oh, someone’s calling.”

As quick as the realization came, so did you let go of his hand to swipe your phone from your pocket. The mix of embarrassment and disappointment that swelled as your lingering warmth slowly disappeared couldn’t be fully described. 

“Yes. Alright, sir. We’ll be right there.”

—

And just like that, your clients left. Quite satisfied clients, you might even say.

“What a day that was!” You said as you stretched your arms. It was a surprise how full of energy you were, considering that you two were in the park for as long as the sun was up. “Weird that they didn’t catch the fireworks, though.”

“Fireworks?” 

“Well, it’s actually for some other event in some other place. But this is where the best view is!”

You pointed at the largest attraction in the park: the ferris wheel.

“...if you’d like to join me, that is.”

The two of you knew he had plans after your mission. In fact, you were convinced that he’d have rushed to leave right after they said goodbye. But to your surprise, he gladly accepted your offer.

“Of course I would.”

Half of him was surprised he gave in. The silent cries of errands to be done were almost deafening, given how much he had to reschedule because he spent too much time getting ready that morning. But the other and embarrassingly louder half was simply overjoyed at this opportunity to fulfill a secret wish of his: to ride the ferris wheel with the person he loved most.

Perhaps it was that elation that erased whatever anxiety he’d gone through that day. For the moment he began talking with you casually from the end of the line to the moment you entered the cab, he almost forgot every single embarrassing act and thought he’d gathered.

How could he forget the joy of just talking to and being with you? 

“Kunikida-san-” 

The fireworks started bursting in the sky, lighting it up with colorful hues.  

“You’re right,” you continued. “It is cold today.”

It took a few moments before your words registered into his brain. “Ah, right. Sorry about that.”

He swiftly removed your jacket from his shoulders and gently draped them over yours. And he should have just as swiftly let go, but the way you were staring at him made it impossible to let go. The look in your beautiful eyes… the thoughts that followed were nearly just as impossible to resist.

“I’m sorry.”

You suddenly stole the words he should be saying. But why?

“I should have been more clear.”

Before he knew it, you took his hand and grasped it firmly.

“This would warm me up much better.”

Hearing you say that literally took him aback. What was the meaning of that? Why would- Wait-

Your chuckle only deepened the redness on his entire face. “I’ve been trying to stop myself the whole day, you know.” You couldn’t have been joking. With that expression, you couldn’t have been… right?

“Then-” he nearly choked.  “Then you shouldn’t have stopped yourself.”

His voice was so soft that if you hadn’t been in an enclosed space, you might not have heard it at all. Yet every word made it through. “I thought you said we had to stay professional?”

He smiled. You were right. As your cab reached the top of the wheel and the fireworks boomed as loudly as your hearts, he finally intertwined his fingers with yours.

“I suppose there can be exceptions.”

taglist: @stygianoir, @irethepotato, @kisara-16reblogs, @thatdazaikin, @dazaee, @menshusband, @celestair, @bloobewy, @renaxnnas, @kunikida-simp, @fyodorisbbg

[snarltoothed]

if youre okay with watered down blood a cloth pad could be… soaked in a small amount of cold water and that would draw some (if not most) of the blood out

whats the best way of collecting menstrual blood for art and ritual purposes without a menstrual cup….

[thefairyletters]

Could you answer this question? I went through a bunch of Sakura fics, many recommended by yourself (many good ones, thanks for your excellent taste!) but I also explored on my own, which is how this question spurred. I was wondering why so many ppl want Sakura to have wood release? &, because it's been a while so my memory's foggy, wasnt wood release sort of a bloodline thing? They had to infuse Hashirama's cells w/ Yamato for him to use it. It seems a little...I guess radical to give it to her? I LOVE Sakura, which is exactly why it kind of throws me off. I think she's already strong as is, & I think being able to utilize genjutsu & slug sage mode are logical expansions of her abilities, so wood release seems very...Idk how to put it but it seems like erasing Sakura. I'm discovering that I truly really dont think I like BAMF Sakura fics a lot bc it just doesnt read AS Sakura. It's like the author's are ashamed of her. Also I dislike when they use Strong!Sakura as a tag on ao3 bc she IS strong that HASNT changed & there's a canonical version of BAMF!Sakura in everything before the Pein arc. Everything after the Pein arc turned the entire series in a bad fanfiction for everyone in itself.

Thank you, I'm happy to know you enjoyed my recs!

That's a good question.

This is what I think makes Sakura badass ➡ here

I love Sakura the way she is, as well. Her development, however, is lacking not in terms of her personality but her skillset. She has impressive chakra control, monstrous strength and is one of the two frontline medics and one of the best healers in the world. She has impressive feats under her belt as well, two of the most remarkable include her byakugo seal and her fight with Sasori alongside Chiyo. But it pales in comparison to her teammates, including Sai and Kakashi. I don't mind that too, because her journey is different than others, excluding Lee and possibly Tenten. She isn't seen much involved in fights, her attacks are repetitive in the show, she isn't bestowed many techniques under her belt and her best moments are in games and novels. It is not her character's fault but Kishimoto who just doesn't use her strength and intelligence which he (and other characters) have mentioned she has.

She is genjutsu type – but has she ever performed one, or even gotten out of one easily? Whats the use of such information if Kishimoto doesn't use it?

She has near perfect chakra control – she should be easily able to perform many techniques and practice different elements, especially water, but earth style and cloning is what we mostly ever see her use.

She has good foundation in Taijutsu – and that should increase her stamina and therefore her chakra coils, and that in turn will ensure she is able to use many techniques.

Her medical and research skills are only next to Tsunade – and we wish to see her revolutionize the medical field which she has but in Borutoverse. That is time skip. That doesn't really relive you much.

She has resistance to mind jutsus, thanks to her inner personality – and theoretically she should be able to even evade strong genjutsus like she did Ino's clan technique (something never been done before) but Kishimoto only used that incredible ability once. ONCE.

She has massive chakra storage and exceptional chakra control and sensitivity – she should be able to master Senjutsu, a field which is all about chakra. Anything that has to do with chakra control is Sakura's playground.

She is more or less an unofficial poison expert – but we didn't see her playing with poison expertly (a poison that even Suna's poison experts failed to break) after Gaara's retrieval arc.

She is the smart and responsible one of team 7 – but Kishi often makes her look both stupid and selfish. We don't see her use her intelligence much. I hate that more than her lacking in the expansion of the skills.

She trained under a political leader – that itself makes her and Shizune great administrators and governors. So, out of everyone, Sakura is the one of the best Hokage material. Hokage is said to be the strongest fighter of the village but that requirement failed us when Tsunade became the fifth Hokage.

She has yin seal – the strongest seals one can make, in their own body no less. It also shows her expert control of her chakra. She can summon one of the big 3 summons. Sealing is more or less code that requires high intelligence and great chakra control that can be fused into the ink. As far as I can tell, she is one of the best candidates to learn Fuinjutsu.

With all these possibilities of her growth – because it is not something we make up but something Kishi has implied she has but never explored – how can one not exploit it? It doesn't mean one doesn't love Sakura for who she is but that its because they love her that they want to give her what she has the right to. She doesn't have to be expert at something to be powerful, just her putting her skills to best use is admirable as it is. I love Sakura for who she is and who she could be.

Now, onto the question as to why people seem to favour giving Sakura wood release, this are the following reasons that I think could be it:

Does it have to be bloodline limit?

Kishimoto gave Hashirama a unique bloodline limit that apparently cannot be inherited by any other Senju. That defeats the purpose of bloodline limit. What makes Senju clan so different? Without Hashirama in the picture, you cannot distinctly identify a Senju clan member aside from their strong chakras. Tobirama is identified for his water techniques. Tsunade has perfect control of her chakra that allowed her to exhibit monstrous strength and incredible healing abilities. How come wood release is a bloodline limit but is not passed down the line?

It is complicated because Tsunade is also renowned for her perfect chakra control just like Hashirama. So, some stories make Sakura a secret Senju clan member because of her uncanny resemblance to Tsunade and Senju clan in general. Pink hair can be a diluted version of Red (Mito) and her chakra control originating directly from Hashirama's lineage.

I personally don't like this because I love Sakura being a civilian child.

It's not a bloodline limit:

So, assuming wood release is not a bloodlimit but a very hard technique requiring precise chakra control and mastery of dual elements Earth and Water, then it is possible for Sakura to practice same technique because of her prodigious chakra control. By that logic, we can also assume that Tenzo inherited Hashirama's unique chakra control to use wood release. Because Orochimaru could have used Tsunade's DNA too if it was only about clan blood. So that rules out bloodline limit.

I love the idea of Sakura practising wood release because it is possible for her to do so. So if an author gives Sakura wood release that she hones with practice and control (ref. fanfic: Labyrinthine) instead of having been gifted with it, I'm digging it.

Nature chooses the wood user:

Naruto universe has many references to spiritual entities such as gods/goddesses, reincarnation and celestial bodies. It is conceivable to make nature an ethereal entity that has its own will. Sakura looks like the embodiment of spring with her petal hair and green eyes, and Hashirama can be compared to wood with his warm personality and appearance, these attributes can make them look distinctly attractive to nature. No other characters remind me strongly of nature than these two so I suppose they can be uniquely selected to be blessed this ability. Tenzo's abilities is the result of human experiment by Orochimaru who always cheats on nature so he is an exception.

I only like this because I like the idea of Sakura being Nature's child.

Most stories that I love don't give her a special edge and only give her more techniques under her arsenal. It is very rarely that I love an OCC Sakura who has a bloodline, a clan or godlike abilities.

After Pein's arc, Naruto turned into a joke. Everyone in team 7 (barring Sakura, Sai and Yamato) and long list of antagonists seemed to get power ups left and right. Sakura got hers in the last moment as a last ditch effort to reunite team 7 as one, a moment that felt so hasty that I couldn't take the show seriously at all. I was so disappointed with the whole war arc. I cringe just thinking about it. I sometimes think if it would have been better for everyone to just die with happily ever after in their mind. That would be tragic but a fitting end because Madara became too OP and Kaguya ridiculously so.

The reason people add 'Strong', 'BAMF', 'Smart' prefixes before Sakura is the reason why people add extra qualities to Sakura's character. They are not satisfied with how Sakura handles herself in fights and many base her fights with the one she had with Sasori. After that, did you see her actively participating in any major fight, barring her attempts to make a score on sidelines? Usually, these fanfictions also justify why she is Tsunade 2.0, something the Naruto failed to show.

By the way, many stories have BAMF tag for Shikamaru, Naruto and Sasuke as well. Are they not already strong af? They don't use Strong tag for them though, and that's because their fighting prowess is already seen. Shikamaru is not much of a fighter as much as he is a strategist and a leader. He is a cool and sly character. Naruto and Sasuke have flashy moves with flashy names under their belt with absurd power levels that puts them in god tier. Sakura has none of that – no signature move that is uniquely her, no clan to back her, no move with a name (barring game moves) – and she is seen useless because she is a healer which is a non-offensive, background job even if it is the most crucial and taxing job. It's significance is even more reduced when people point out how her work is futile because they are again sent to the fight/missions once they are up to go. Most fans only care for visual aesthetics, regardless of how rare and in-demand medics are because of the lack of qualified people who can muster and use medical chakra properly.

Sakura is more than just a healer but in canon she is more or less reduced to that. To make things worse for her, both Ino and Hinata are also shown to have healing techniques. They both also have clan techniques (vastly unknown) with them which makes them appear more 'useful'. Sakura is literally in the shadow of her mentor and her friends.

In Boruto, she is said to be the most powerful Kunoichi of her generation and quite possibly the greatest medic in the world but in Shippuden it is severely undermined. This is also why Boruto fans love Sakura but a bunch of Shippuden fans don't.

I mostly don't judge BAMF/Strong Sakura fanfictions, but I mostly avoid Anbu Sakura fanfictions if I can because I personally don't belive Sakura to be an Anbu material.

.

I want to add more, but I think I got my point across. Thank you for reading this far. I hope I answered your question adequately.

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

Hi! I saw your tags (interpretation of the Cat "orgy") and I was wondering if you could elaborate on it? :D That bit confuses me SO much -- IS it a sexual thing? is it just cuddle time? Lmao I know that it's usually described kind of sensually (especially with Plato and Victoria), so in conclusion: ???????

Oh, excellent question, anon. And honestly, this one doesn’t really have a straight answer, I’m afraid. That conclusion of ?????? is pretty spot on.

The *official* title of that section of the ball is called “The White Cat Lift”, because the main area of focus while the rest of the cats pile in is Plato/Admetus/Tumblebrutus/Mistoffelees/Coricopat/Pouncival/Alonzo/etc etc etc lifting Victoria up in the air. It is not officially referred to as anything other than that (The part *just* before when Victoria and her beau of the week approach one another and sniff each other or nuzzle is called “Sensuals”, so it is absolutely “canonically” intended to be read on a more intimate level which is where you get that described sensuality you mentioned). 

Its purpose, unless it is highly sped through, is to give all of the dancers a break and a chance to breathe before launching back into the second half of the Jellicle Ball (when a number is 10 - 15 minutes long and at that level of intensity, you 100% require a break midway of some kind and lying down is better than even just standing still). That’s the long and short technical explanation for it. 

That being said, many people in the fandom (and outside the fandom as well - with a particular boom when the 2019 film came out), have jokingly (or not so jokingly) nicknamed it the “orgy” section of the ball, because it looks a little...well to be blunt, it looks a little bit like an orgy, complete with a pile of writhing bodies, and many performers actively feeling one another up/playing it up as sensual as possible. I would imagine that this sensuality is actively encouraged (and possibly semi-planned in the improve stage of cat school) during rehearsals. So fans (and audiences) took that idea and ran wild with it. 

There have been many a joke of Skimbleshanks being the “orgy supervisor” since he usually acts as the cat that Victoria is laid down upon rather than actively involving himself with the other cats (though he also lifted her during the OLC times and laid her down on his belly *himself* so that’s...something). There have been further jokes of the “WTF” nature of the interesting pairings you would get during this scene (ex. 1998 Film), before the revival kind of “regulated” them, per say. You’ll no doubt run into them (if you haven’t already).

I *believe* that it was Gillian Lynne (though don’t directly quote me - I recall this being said but I can’t quite remember by *who* - it could have also been one of the revival members or another past cast member) that made the implication that Victoria was in heat during this particular section,  (which is supported by the fact that her initial solo before “The Invitation to the Jellicle Ball” is her “discovering herself” - which is Gillian Lynne-ese for self-pleasure and hitting puberty) which explains why some of the cats (or I guess all of them) are more drawn towards her.

Is it a *sexual* thing? Well, I can’t say for certain if that’s the intended implication (but knowing Gillian Lynne it very well could have been). It is, however, an extremely “sensual” thing (as most of the choreo in CATS is), but the level of which that sensuality is taken will greatly vary from production to production. Some productions just stick to partner/group cuddling and touching, while others take steps father (rolling and hovering on top of one another, run hands along bodies, bumping and grinding, handstands, etc). I suppose we need to keep in mind that, because we are dealing with Gillian Lynne choreo, the implication of sensuality and sexuality is always there and she most likely choreographed that section with the encouragement for the performers to keep that in mind, too.

ALL OF THAT BEING SAID HOWEVER - 

I think the reason why I specifically (I can’t speak for anyone else; interpret at will) am somewhat uncomfortable with the implication that this is an orgy (joking about it is a bit different - I don’t really mind the jokes because it is rather *strange*), is that a couple of the characters included in this pile are referred to as “kittens” (especially if they include swings that had John Napier ref. sheets that *literally* said “kitten” on it).

I understand that the age thing can be interpreted different from person to person (and I *also* understand that the actual performers themselves are *usually* of age - though some performers have been 16/17 when they started so...),  but there is no denying that some characters of CATS are described, however briefly, as being part of the “kitten group”. So, keeping this in mind, if we *are* to read this scene as a straight up orgy, then that makes me incredibly uncomfortable, point blank. I really don’t need to elaborate why, I think. 

To me, personally, I prefer to interpret it as the following:

Touch is a big part of this whole musical, so I would assume that touch is also something incredibly valuable to the cats themselves. The concept of touching and being touched essentially connects them as a familial group (That’s why Grizabella was so desperate to be touched again - that would indicate that she’s been reaccepted). They use touch and the concept of scent mingling extensively in their society - to welcome cats, to tell them goodbye, to connect with them, to comfort them, to introduce kittens to their families, etc. It’s a way to bond. 

So in the case of the Jellicle Ball, the couple that takes center stage is what I would kind of deem as the “Belles of the Ball”, aka it’s a bit like an officiation of a mateship - similar to humans getting married (though some pairings in the show are rather...strange to me I won’t lie). When the rest of the cats gather together around them, families and couples and friends, touching and mixing their scents together, it’s their way of wishing the new couple luck in the future. It’s them becoming more familiar of what the “together” is rather than the singular. It’s to remind them of who they are, where they came from, and what they will be. It’s to comfort them if they’re nervous, to assure them that the rest of them are with them, no matter what happens. If previously established couples approach them together, it’s their way of ensuring longevity; perhaps if they come in closer with their own kittens, its a way to wish that they have healthy offspring should they desire it. All in all, it’s a good luck, we’re proud of you, and we’re all here for you cuddle session.  

Sappy, maybe, but I prefer the familial cuddle pile to anything else. 

[ladybuvelle]

Anywhere’s good to start I guess, so I started with Sona. Obviously. (And also, I know myself and I needed a warmup. So Sona’s took the longest and looks the worst as a result pfft)

But here are my notes:

Sona (All Wild Rift Models) - All of Sona’s models are basically the same as far as her face, her skin, etc. Her anatomy/texture isn’t drastically altered, in HIGH contrast at League models... as you can see in PsyOps below it. But anyway. Sona’s eyes in WR are kind of unique in her history of design because they went full droopy eye. Her outer corners sink down both on the top and bottom lash lines, for a very soft-eyed, gentle character effect. That’s typically what this sort of design is meant to convey in short-hand for anime/manga design (there will always be exceptions), but it’s also worth noting that this sort of “look” also seems to be very popular for Chinese beauty standard stuff. More on that later.

Sona (PsyOps) - And HERE we see the stark contrast. PsyOps Sona doesn’t exist in WR (yet) so I’m curious what will happen when or if she ever gets put there, because these eyes convey a lot for the type of character she is in this AU. Instead of being droopy, they are upturned and sharp. The lower lash line is thicker at the slope going up. Very heavy eyes. Very shrewd. It wouldn’t work for this skin if she had the same droopy eyes as WR.

Master Yi (Eternal/Possibly base?) - This was tricky for me. I’m still learning to draw Asian eyes, and in particular I struggle conveying the fullness of the lower lid. Such is the case for Yi, as he has lovely lower lids, but I’m shit at conveying them properly. Instead I focused on the eye shape itself, which was also a bit tricky. The WR model goes extra hard, I feel, on making him aesthetically Chinese (in the sense of the wuxia sort of pretty man ideal). Which makes sense! His eyes are roundest at the top, in the middle, with sharp almond corners. Simple but elegant and uncomplicated.

Master Yi (PsyOps) - Now things get complicated. Remembering PsyOps Yi’s face stuck in my head as so DRASTICALLY different (and the only other skin, except Project if you count that, where we even see his face at all) I had to look it up and cross-ref with other media. Mainly concept art. It’s interesting how... anime? I guess? The design goes. His eyes here are immediately harsher, bigger, wider. The bags hang heavy underneath, and yet there’s this weird youthfulness to his eyes. I think they really should have tried to make him look older, but that’s, like, my opinion maaaan. I should also not that despite this design being more “anime”, the design itself combined with how he looks overall in this skin strikes me as very oddly “American”. His eye bags, the weight of his brows above his eyes (which I convey at the corners), such strong and prominent features just kinda tag me that way I guess.

Additional thoughts:

We all know by now that Wild Rift was created very specifically for the Chinese mobile game market, which is apparently booming. I’m not Chinese, or even Asian for that matter, but I think it’s easy even as an outsider, and maybe especially as someone with an artist’s eye, to see that there are design choices at play specifically meant to appeal to a Chinese/Asian audience. Censorship is one place to start, sure. But as I briefly touched on before with Sona’s eyes and her overall “look” in Wild Rift compared to her other League media, there are many Asian-centric aesthetic choices being made here.

And that’s not to say a “westerner” can’t enjoy the style or imply anything like that. It’s just worth pointing out, perhaps for anyone who’s unaware of it, that things tend to be marketed very differently for “eastern” and “western” consumers. Particularly in the world of video games.

You may often see things in interviews saying how a particular character was meant to appeal to a sort of demographic. It’s nothing new, but these aesthetic appeals haven’t really changed much, if at all, in probably over a decade.

So to make a long story short, it’s pretty interesting to me to observe Wild Rift’s aesthetic changes to appeal to a Chinese audience, and see the same tropes being followed as usual. Base Sona/Yi vs PsyOps Sona/Yi are pretty excellent examples of contrast. PsyOps, from a pure design standpoint, feels to me to be very “western” appealing. Examples: the characters are aggressive and gritty, there’s a lack of color overall, strong grays and a military motif, there’s guns and bullets. Do you see what I mean?

The “western” appeal tends to focus more on grit, violence, sharp lines and edges, darker colors. Is this universal? No, of course not. And honestly I’m hardly qualified to talk into any deeper a depth on the subject. It’s just interesting to think about while looking at vastly different designs, and how these designs are being changed, and why they are being changed. There is always a plan behind these things, especially when it’s art made for a purpose (i.e. making money for a vidya game).

[silver-wield]

The Promise Analysis (Cloti)

Sorry about that, Nonny, I relate the promise between Tifa and Cloud to some of the stuff that happens during their resolution and went full tin hatter on it.

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Cloti reunion analysis 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Recapping for anyone who's forgotten the basics – cause I assume by this point you're ok with spoilers and me pointing that out is kinda dumb lol

So, chapter 4 and it's mission time with the trio – I love these dorks, especially Wedge, he is my child and if he's dead Imma riot. Jessie is off being sneaky and it's up to Cloud and co to play tag with the security team.

As Charlie Biggs (if you got the ref kudos) explains the plan, Cloud looks up at the night sky — which is a whole lot different to the one we fade up to and I personally wonder what it was about that sky that made him recall the promise to Tifa. Was it just the fact he'd been talking to her and it was his first time he'd paid attention to it? Before that he was under the plate and before that he was in the reactor, so I guess it's safe to assume this is his first chance to relate the two things.

Ok, after the fade in, we're treated to a pretty damn romantic set up. The water tower, the night sky and lil Cloud waiting for Tifa.

In the OG it mentions he waited for so long he started getting really cold, but he stuck it out because he wanted to see her and hoped she'd show. That's an OG lifestream detail not in the first OG promise scene, but let's assume for now it's gonna get a callback in the Remake. That means bby Cloud has been sitting there waiting for Tifa for a while now.

Ok, call her a thirteen year old bitch if you feel good about yourselves here, but she's thirteen and her dad is super overprotective. He stopped Cloud from playing with Tifa after she had an accident at 8 that wasn't Cloud's fault and in fact if he hadn't been there she'd have died on the mountain because nobody would've known where she was. Ok? Ok.

So, he's been waiting, and it's clear he's nervous – he looks so fucking cute I just can't stand it! Nervous fidgeting, balled fist, head down, mouth pulled into a pretty grim line. He thinks she's not coming, but still he's waiting for her.

Sorry, just to further hit home the above points. That is the face of a boy who is desperately hoping the girl he likes is gonna show, but has half given up hope. There's sadness in his eyes and a tensing along his jaw line. This boy is disappointed and my heart breaks for him.

Going back to that focus in on Cloud's eyes before the flashback and we can see here the massive difference mako makes to the colour. Cloud's eyes are a deep blue, while his mako infused eyes are blue/green. I get why he goes on about them a lot because he's probably not used to seeing them like that yet; maybe he never will be. Tifa's comment was about the look in his eyes – which I touched on in a comment I made while replaying. Tifa isn't focused on the colour, she's dismayed he has such a hard look in his eyes and when you compare the look in this boy's eyes, it's clear to see what she's getting at. This Cloud is the real Cloud and he is soft as fuck and trying to look tough.

GODDAMNIT!! There's way too many good moments to grab for this analysis! Look at this precious boy! All but folding under the weight of disappointment! But, what's this in the bg? Our heroine, here at last!

If anyone anyone tries to say Cloud didn't have a great stonking crush on Tifa as a kid then please tell me what this means if it isn't he's gutted he's waited and waited and she didn't show.

We don't know why she's late – maybe Remake will clear that up for us – but I'm guessing she couldn't sneak out or maybe, judging by the amount she's dressed up, she was doing the typical girly thing and couldn't decide what to wear, asking herself if this is a date and second guessing why Cloud called her to the water tower – which is known as a romantic meeting place. Whatever the reason, she's thirteen, sheltered – thanks to her dad – and naturally shy. Maybe she worried herself into a state about whether she should go and had to find her courage to meet Cloud. She likes him just as much as he likes her remember. It's canon, don't argue.

Now, her face is this bit is out of focus, but that's nothing to my weirdly myopic eagle eyes – it's a very specific gift. Tifa's smiling. That we can tell even before she's fully in shot. There's a bunching of the cheek muscles that tells us that. She's pleased he's still there. Obviously, she can't read his body language, but she'd probably be a bit upset to realise she upset him. Because she's not actually a bitch like some people like to claim. Sorry, but she's thirteen. How threatened are yall that you gotta call a thirteen year old girl a bitch and try to erase how important she is in Cloud's childhood just to further your own ends? Seriously, get help.

Sorry for the janky, but this is a transition between focus so it's not gonna be great anyway. Here we can see Cloud's expression when Tifa says heya. Eyes open, wide with surprise. She showed. That's what his face is saying. He's trying hard not to show his emotions too much – I mean he is still Cloud and too cool for all that nonsense – but he's relieved. Maybe his heart even skips a beat, but I'm speculating. Her greeting is casual, reserved. Tifa. She’s being cute even though he’s not looking because she wants him to think she’s cute.

Tifa, ever respectful and respectable sits the right amount of difference away that both encourages Cloud she's interested in being near him, but doesn't over encourage him and make him think of her in a negative way. She's likely cultivated this on purpose – she's the mayor's daughter so she's always got to be proper – because she's got a lot of male friends and having any of them get the wrong idea would be bad. You'll notice in her other flashbacks where the boys feature that she's not sitting too close to any of them and they're running around her, not touching or anything. They're satellites that revolve around her because she is untouchable to them. Because she's the mayor's daughter and has to be a good girl all the time. This is further evidence that goes towards Tifa's overall personality. She's very careful and respectful to people. She doesn't go out of her way to offend anyone unless she has no choice. Though she's a skilled fighter, she's very slow to anger and tries to look on the bright side as much as she can, despite the tragedy in her life. (I'm gushing, I know, but she's such a great multifaceted character and way more than the tropes people shove on her to make her into nothing).

Where was I?

Right. So, in direct contrast to their later conversation during the chapter 14 resolution, here we see Cloud with his back to Tifa and her with her head tilting, inviting him to confide in her. Yes, there really are that many awesome parallels purposely inserted in this game and that's why you need to take more than one look.

From her face we can conclude she's optimistic. She's smiling and doesn't look like someone who's expecting a bomb to drop any second – Cloud if you only turned around you wouldn't have gone through this shit. Sure, you'd have likely died when Sephiroth came to town, but hey, you'd have gone out with your childhood sweetheart lol

What she's probably expecting is for Cloud – who has purposely invited her to the watertower hot dating spot – to ask her out. And since she's there and dressed up, we could conclude she'd accept him.

Cloud is trying to find the cool words he wants to say that'll motivate Tifa to miss him, maybe even push her into saying, “No, don't go,” because even though he's fourteen, Cloud is no good at talking to women. This is just one of his character traits. It's why we wanna strangle him over the Triangle. Bby Cloud is hardly better than adult Cloud, but at least bby Cloud knows he likes Tifa.

Bomb dropped. Kaboom. Poor bby Tifa. Look how disappointed and upset she is. She wasn't expecting this one bit! She looked so hopeful in the seconds before Cloud's hesitant declaration, only it wasn't the kind she hoped for. I wouldn't go so far as to say she's crushed, but she's upset, that's for sure. Her brows have come together and she's turned away from Cloud because she doesn't want him to see how she looks in this moment. She's trying to put a brave face on it, but bby Tifa isn't as good as her grown up self. You can see the mouth trying to form a smile, but the eyes have a different expression in them.This is again seen in chapter 14 when Tifa tries to put a brave face on for Cloud before breaking down. 

Shots fired! Tifa goes for dismissive and succeeds! Never mess with a girl with a crush lol

Cloud was trying to get a reaction out of her, but she got one out of him instead. Brave face wins. Well, what did you expect? She's the mayor's daughter and raised on being proper.

He stutters that he's not like the other boys – so cute – and shows off his lofty dreams. He's trying so hard to impress her. He only has these dreams because of the incident when they were smaller where her father said if Cloud can't take care of Tifa then he has no right being around her. This is what drove Cloud to distance himself from Tifa and her friends. Talk about shoving an inferiority complex and identity disorder on a kid. I get it, the mayor was worried about his daughter, but Cloud didn't deserve the bear the brunt of his anger and blame. Still, the fact that nine year old Cloud took that, held onto it for five years and still decided to pursue Tifa by becoming a SOLDIER has huge meaning for them. He was nine. Ok, for argument's sake let's say he didn't have a crush on her, but they were friends and he was told he wasn't good enough to hang with her. So, thanks to propaganda he gets it in his head that SOLDIERS are the best and if he's one of them he'll be good enough for her father to let him see Tifa again. We're not told at any point – nor shown it – that Tifa is only interested in Cloud if he's this elite who can impress her. Remember, she already likes him. Look at what she's wearing compared to him ffs. This girl – again – dressed for a date with Mr Oblivious. Yes, I'm rolling my eyes. Yes, I want to smack him upside the head. Yes, I know he's 14, I meant adult Cloud.

Back to it. The look on his face here is one of “she thinks I'm like the others? I'll prove I'm not. I'm better than that. I can be next to her if I prove myself.” At this point, he's definitely gone from wanting to be around her in a friendship capacity to borderline romantic. I mean, he did call her out to the watertower. Did I mention that? A few times? Because it's significant. He's frustrated she compared him to her friends – no she didn't friendzone him, she likes him. He thinks she friendzoned him. Kids are frustrating and the adult versions aren't much better.

Shots fired part two! Points to Cloud this time! Smug lil fucker, I see that smirk!

Okay, so Cloud says he's gonna be like Sephiroth and at this point in time Sephiroth isn't batshit crazy, he's someone to be admired. Tifa to be fair, doesn't sound impressed, but she's humouring Cloud. Then, she says, “Isn't it hard to become a SOLDIER?” And Cloud replies with “Yes, so I won't be back for a long time.”

Okay, now. This is definitely to get a reaction. The smirk on his face is saying that he's partly getting her back for her earlier shot and partly trying to goad a reaction from her because he thinks he didn't get one before – this is why eye contact matters.

Tifa, for her part, doesn't look happy. He's got a reaction out of her, but it'd be really super helpful if he was facing her to see it. Because he isn't, she can get away with a breezy reply that makes him think she doesn't care.

I'm sorry, can I just say serves you right and leave it at that? Seriously, Cloud, don't mess with girls when you can barely form coherent sentences most of the time. What did he expect? She'd throw herself on him, clinging, crying and begging him not to go? Probably. Once again, our angsty hero is on the backfoot in their conversation. This is why eye contact matters. He's looking a bit gutted at her reaction. He likely hoped for more and got far less than he wanted. It's no wonder he goes to Midgar and doesn't approach her when he comes back as a grunt. He's carrying this presumed disappointment around with him that stops him from seeing her. (I can't really go more into CC events since I haven't played it and I've only seen a few bits and pieces, but what I got from it was Cloud is an idiot.)

Tifa asking if he'll be in the papers is both a brush off towards his baiting and also she's trying to encourage him. This is his dream. He called her out of the house late at night to tell her – just her – that this is what he's gonna do. Of course she won't stop him. She's not that kind of girl. She's supportive and kind. She doesn't understand that Cloud's doing it for her – I honestly don't think it enters her mind at any point until he reveals it OG during the lifestream sequence. She's pretty much as oblivious as he is and assumes they're just really close friends and her attraction is all one sided; same as he does about her.

Ah ha! Tifa thinks, realising that Cloud's lukewarm effort to be in the papers won't be enough to satisfy her. If Cloud's going to become a SOLDIER, then he'll be a hero – like Sephiroth. What do heroes do? Save people. He said he won't be home for a long time, but there's even less guarantee he'd come back at all, and she wants to see him again, even if it's just once. She can't leave Nibelheim. As the mayor's daughter she's got responsibilities to the people there – even though the town is dying out and nobody new is settling. Eventually, she'll be the only person her age left and maybe never hear from any of her friends again. But, she can't leave. She can't abandon the people. She'll be left, alone and lonely, until everyone’s gone. Her life wasted. But, she could see Cloud again and that makes her optimistic. Maybe she wouldn't mind the time so much if she thought she'd get to see him again. See that at least he's pursuing his dreams and he's happy with the direction his life took. Maybe she'd get one grand romantic gesture in her life if SOLDIER Cloud could save her.

Confused boi is confused. From Cloud's pov, he doesn't understand this odd request. He hasn't thought about Tifa saying everyone leaving means she's alone. He's only seen this from his pov, so he can't see why Tifa would need saving or how he would even know she needs him. He doesn't realise it's her way of trying to get some guarantee they'll meet again.

I mean, we can see he's trying to understand her. He's actually turned to look at her this time and his expression is searching, like he's looking for clues why she said this. He also invites her to explain by making a verbal cue.

And now that Cloud has her full attention – you know, the thing he was trying to get all along – he doesn't know what to do with it. He's flustered and awkward, and she's cajoling and turning on the charm, which she likely has in spades because mayor's daughter. I know I say that like it's a personality trait, but in part it is. She's had to learn decorum and everything that goes with it. She needs manners and good behaviour. She has to be just enough of an extrovert that she can attend functions – because even though I know I said the town is dying, they still have a reactor and that means they still get visits from important people. She can't show her dad or town up. In the Resolution analysis I made I said she hasn't been allowed to show emotion for five years since she arrived in Midgar, but it's very likely she's never been allowed to show much emotion. She's gotta be the doll. So, since she can't show she's sad, she goes for positive, and Cloud's frowning because he's not sure how he'll keep this promise she wants so bad and if she isn't interested in him then why is she asking for one anyway? Remember, they just did a do-si-do with each other's feelings acting like they don't like each other.

But then, oh look! Oh look! In the face of Tifa's unrelenting cheer and optimism, Cloud starts to smile. Eyes soften and the slightest lift at the corner of his mouth. He's starting to like the idea of being her hero. And it's just once and maybe from that one time save things would move forward for them. He's definitely not opposed to the idea – especially since he's the one who brings it up with Tifa later and she's pretty embarrassed at the reminder. The confusion from before could be because he thought she wasn't serious, but looking her dead in the eye – this is why eye contact matters – he sees she's serious. She wants him to be her hero. She wants to see him again and even offers a get out clause by saying “just once.” He doesn't have to do it forever or whenever she wants, just once. So, she can have hope she'll see him again some day.

And now we're back with the big idiot, who squeezes his eyes shut as he remembers Tifa in the bar earlier saying she feels trapped. Guilt likely pinches. Maybe he wonders if this was a hint she wanted his help – I'm wavering on this because she does say later she didn't expect this kind of thing when she asked for his promise – but if we go by choice of words alone it's leading. Then again, bby Tifa uses the word trapped, so it could just be a word that she feels comfortable using to describe her feelings. How we speak is made up of specific words we go to that feel right when we say them. It's just one of those things and why not everyone speaks the same even when they're from the same region or you have friend groups where you speak one way and other groups where you speak another.

From the dev pov I'm assuming it's meant to be a callback to the promise, but I wouldn't put it on Tifa doing it purposely to encourage Cloud to help her. If that makes sense.

And we close off with Cloud clenching his fist and resolving to help Tifa. To keep his promise.

At no point do we have confirmation from Tifa that the reason she asked Cloud to make a promise was to get a favour off him.

Conclusion

This is actually a very tragic scene from Tifa's pov. I've seen some people say this is because she's a young girl acting like a fairy princess, but I can't marry that idea with the gritty themes FF7 portrayed, and Remake does still hit those notes. Tifa is a young girl who had her romantic hopes dashed and she's looking for some kind of consolation from the boy she likes. He's leaving her. They're all leaving her. She'll be alone. She just wants hope that she'll see him again.

Is it manipulative? Yeah, ok, if that's how you see it. She's thirteen. Did I mention that? I'll say it again. She's thirteen, and one of the last people her age in town. Soon, she's gonna be the only one her age. She's lonely and doesn't want to lose everyone in her life. If you say that's manipulative by asking her crush make a promise so she can have hope she'd see him again, then go off I guess.

And let's touch on hope. Tifa is someone who has a lot of enduring hope – this is why I initially linked the ask to the resolution scene because the theme of hope runs through both. Tifa gets knocked down a lot. She's almost died several times, lost people close to her when they left town, lost Cloud when he left and still found a way to go on. She was never a damsel or trying to be one. She's wearing a cute dress because Cloud asked her out. She thought it was a date. Or she wanted it to be. And since when does wearing a dress make someone a weakling? Or does it only apply to Tifa because convenience?

After Cloud leaves, Tifa begins training every day. She learns from a master and develops her skills until she's at the peak. I mean, you've seen her fight. She kicks all the ass.

She wasn't sitting around like a damsel waiting for an opportunity for Cloud to come and save her. She got on with her life. She was happy at times, sad others. It was normal. She missed Cloud, I know that much from CC. She dressed up – again – hoping he'd be part of the group inspecting the reactor. She was disappointed when he wasn't there.

The promise between them wasn't about furthering a childhood romance or making Tifa someone Cloud couldn't get over. Neither of them was aware the other had feelings. It was awkward mutual oblivious crushing that clearly carried on for another two years until Cloud showed up with Zack, but didn't appear before Tifa because he’s that kind of idiot.

And what happened during the trip? Well, a lot of stuff, but the thing I know about is Sephiroth went batshit cray cray and slaughtered everyone in the town and then burnt it to the ground. He nearly killed Tifa. Cloud was there and that's what we see in his headache flashes about “I let you down again”.

He carries a lot of guilt about not being Tifa's hero, which is why he tries so hard to protect her. He made a promise to her that part of him believes he hasn't kept, but if it wasn't for him, she'd be dead. Again. He did save her. And he keeps on saving her. Not because of the debt of a promise but because he wants to be her hero. The real Cloud that's hidden deep within him, the one that made the original promise, the one that almost died saving her and got stuffed in a mako chamber for years until Zack rescued him, that Cloud wants to be Tifa's hero.

That's why after he recalls this moment – and it's one of the ones where he doesn't have a headache at all (just thought I'd mention that because certain people go on about how a specific scene is all Cloud not headachey Cloud whatever) – that he becomes focused on helping Tifa. He opens up both to her and others – check the camaraderie with the trio after the mission and him offering to walk Wedge home. 

This recollection of a promise is the first step for the real Cloud to finding his way back. That's why it anchors his development and that's why his and Tifa's relationship will never be less than something deep and meaningful.

[mimi-cee-hq]

Yahaba’s Type - Yahaba x Reader (Part 2 of 2)

[Masterlist]

[Part 1] [Part 2]

Summary:

Although Y/n was known as the clown friend, she wasn’t very comfortable around Yahaba. But that started to change when she saw him awkwardly practising his tosses by himself.

Match-up Request:

Hi I’m here for a match up request~ I’m tall (about 1.80) with blonde middle length hair & light brown eyes I’m a bit plump (usually thin but lately I’ve put on some weight) & sometimes I get self conscious about it 😬 been playing volleyball for 10 years as a middle blocker & my team’s ace ☺️ I also enjoy drawing a lot whenever I have free time Im THAT clown friend who gets really happy whenever people laugh with my jokes & I try to cheer people up that way whenever I see someone being down -🦋

So I found out that actually can save my answers as drafts (but only in the app??). *shrugs* Still learning how to use Tumblr.

Yahaba’s Type - Yahaba x Reader

Words: 2,066

Yahaba took a glance at the second floor before their practice match had started. As they warmed up for the match, he felt like his serves and sets were on point today. He was glad that his setting practice with Y/n had paid off. Chiaki and Y/n decided to watch their game today when Chiaki heard about it. She wanted to know what kind of teammates Kyotani had and wondered how they treated him. Y/n came along as well, which was probably the first time she had ever watched their games. But there were times when he wondered if she should have come.

The match started off with Yahaba’s serve. After bouncing the ball a couple of times, he threw the ball in front of him and ran up to it for his jump serve. But as it hit the top of the net, he held his breath until the volleyball had fallen onto the opponent’s side of the court. He let out a sigh of relief. But that didn’t last long because he heard Y/n shouting at the top of her lungs. “Kya~~! You’re so cool, Yahaba!”

Yahaba quickly turned his head up to her direction to see her laughing her head off. He got a bit annoyed at her since he knew she was just messing around. She wouldn’t have been impressed by his jump serve because she knew how to do one as well. Also, getting a point from a net serve already wasn’t very cool in itself. She was probably just mimicking Oikawa’s fan girls that he had told her about. Now he regretted ever telling her about them.

He gave her a smirk just before his next serve. He made sure she was still watching him. His next serve was a powerful one that he aimed at the other team’s spike-haired libero. When the libero missed his serve, he gave Y/n a smug grin. In response, she gave him a thumbs up and smiled.

“Well someone is showing off again,” said Kindaichi. Yahaba straightened up, remembering that he was in the middle of a match.

“What did you expect?” commented Kunimi. “He’s always been like that.”

As Yahaba got the ball back and walked back to the serving line, Y/n yelled out, “You’d better not miss your next serve!” She then said with a laugh, “Otherwise I’ll expose all of your secrets!”

Yahaba flinched at the thought. He didn’t want his team to know how much he had been practising outside of their usual practices.

“Since when have they been close?” Watari asked Kyotani. He just shrugged in response.

Yahaba didn’t expect them to notice that they were more comfortable with each other now. But with how Y/n was treating him, he shouldn’t have been surprised. The two of them had unintentionally continued to practise with each other for the past few months. He wasn’t planning on continuing their practices together, but he saw how much he had improved because of them.

When their opponents were able to get their first point, Seijoh got ready to receive their serve and attack. But when Yahaba set the ball to Kyotani, it was too high for him to reach. Luckily, Kunimi was somehow able to cover for him, even though it gave the other team a chance ball.

The next few times Yahaba tried to set, he kept on messing up. His fingers felt stiff. He didn’t know what was wrong because he had felt great during the warm up. Yahaba started to feel frustrated because he knew he was failing his team and they needed him. He was now their starting setter and captain. How were they supposed to beat Karasuno the next time around if he was already screwing up this match? He started to wonder if all of the extra practice with Y/n was useless.

Suddenly, he heard Y/n yell out a cheer. “Go, go, let’s go, let’s go, Dateko!”

The court was silent as they stared at the second floor to where Y/n stood. The Seijoh players were the first to break the silence with their laughter.

“What the heck is wrong with her?” said Kindaichi while he laughed hard enough for tears to come out of his eyes.

“Not only is she not cheering for us, but we’re not even playing against Dateko!” added Watari as he held his stomach while laughing.

Yahaba covered his laughter with his mouth. He also found it hilarious but he was equally embarrassed by her. She must have noticed that he was starting to panic. The rest of the team was doing well except for him

As the rest of the court continued to laugh, Y/n justified her actions by saying that their cheer was catchy. She even sang along when her own team played a match against them. She thought it was a lot better than their school’s cheer.

Yahaba then saw the referee remove the whistle from her mouth and turned to Y/n. “Y/n! If you disrupt this match again, you’ll be kicked out and you’ll have to run a hundred laps around the school during next practice!”

Y/n stood up straight and replied, “Yes, ma'am!” She pretended to zip her mouth to show that she had understood.

“I forgot that we got the girls’ team’s coach as the ref,” Kindaichi mentioned to Kunimi.

“If she’s the team’s captain, it must be pretty chaotic with her there,” added Kunimi.

Yahaba felt a bit of second-hand embarrassment from what Y/n just did. But because of her joke, he was able to calm down.

He realized how cold his fingers were. As he breathed on his hands, he remembered when he had jammed his fingers at the community center. Y/n had taken his hands and worried over them. He remembered how soft and warm her hands had been. So even though Yahaba had been trying to warm up his hands, he felt his cheeks heat up instead.

After the practice match had ended, Yahaba walked off the court and grabbed his water bottle for a drink. Y/n walked down from the second floor and the tall middle blocker from the other team approached her.

“We should go to the udon place that’s nearby,” stated the intimidating guy with a large build.

“Oh,” said Y/n with a nervous smile. “I’m not really interested.”

“But it’s really good!” he continued to insist.

Yahaba walked up to the guy who was pestering Y/n and tried to stare him down even though he was more than two meters tall. “She said she’s not interested,” Yahaba sternly told him. It’s not like he hadn’t dealt with troublesome people before. He didn’t want Y/n to deal with him by herself.

“What are you doing?” asked Y/n as she raised an eyebrow. “He’s a friend from junior high.” She continued to explain that a group of them were planning a reunion. She had said she wasn’t interested because she didn’t really like udon. She was more of a rice person.

“Ugh, this is so embarrassing,” Yahaba thought to himself.

“Sorry Hyakuzawa,” Y/n apologized with a smile. Kindaichi and Kunimi snickered at Yahaba for trying to be cool. He just told them to shut up.

As Yahaba walked away from the scene, Kyotani leaned on the wall with his arms crossed. “So what happened to having a type?” he asked with a smirk. He still held a grudge against him after all these months.

“Ugh, I don’t have one, okay?” Yahaba responded in frustration.

*****

After another night at the community center, Y/n plopped on her bed out of exhaustion. Her mom scolded her to at least take a shower. She did what she was told and got ready for bed. She checked her phone and saw a couple of texts from Yahaba.

Yahaba: Did you get home okay?

Yahaba: Since you’re not replying, I’ll just go sleep now. Night.

There was also another text that had appeared about an hour later.

Yahaba: I hope you dream of me

Y/n especially blushed at the last one. She didn’t remember him being a flirt. She knew there was no way he meant that. But a silly grin still formed on her mouth as she tried to lay on her bed to sleep. Unfortunately, it turned out that she was right. The next morning she saw one more text from him.

Yababa: I’m sorry! My sister texted that! Ignore that last one!

She knew that she should have known better. She sighed. It was harder to get over her growing crush on him.

She took a second look at the texts. She realized that he must have been exhausted for his sister to have the opportunity to use his phone. She wondered if they should cut down on their practices together.

Later at school, Y/n asked Chiaki if she was still free to come over for some home karaoke. She replied that she was.

“Can I come?” asked Kyotani.

Y/n had to blink a few times before she excitedly asked, “You want to sing?! Are you serious?!”

“No, I want to watch Chiaki sing.” Kyotani replied.

“Well that makes a lot more sense,” she laughed.

“Did you want to come?” Kyotani asked Yahaba.

“Why would I want to come?” asked Yahaba.

“You should come too! It’ll be fun!” said Y/n.

Kyotani didn’t really care was his response would be so he started to walk away with Chiaki. But Yahaba decided to tag along anyway.

When they arrived at Y/n’s house, her dad greeted Yabaha. But he flinched when Kyotani realized that he had been going to the community center.

“I guess your secret is out,” laughed Y/n. Since Kyotani knew her dad as well, he nodded to greet him.

The four of them sat in the living room. Kyotani and Chiaki sat on the large couch and Yahaba took the other end. Y/n set up the karaoke machine.

Chiaki sang a ballad beautifully. Y/n belted out a different song and sung badly on purpose. “Yay! I got a 68!” cheered Y/n. Her best friend found the whole thing hilarious like usual. Yahaba wondered why he came in the first place.

When Chiaki started to whistle to one of the songs, Y/n tried to whistle too. She couldn’t whistle at all. But she was being stubborn and kept trying anyway.

“You look stupid,” said Yahaba. “You’re getting your spit everywhere.” In response, she purposely got closer to him to tease him some more. “Ugh! Stop doing that!”

But Y/n still didn’t stop. It was kind of fun annoying him and the other two found it hilarious. Yahaba didn’t know how to make her stop. So he kissed her.

Y/n froze. She didn’t understand what had just happened. Yahaba smirked at her. But then his attempt to look cool failed him and his face became just as red as hers.

“W- What was that?!” Y/n freaked out. “Why would you do that?!” She tried to cover her blush with her hands. “You should only do that to someone you like!”

Yahaba looked away as he replied, “So it’s fine then.” He hid his face with his hands when Y/n realized that he admitted to liking her.

“B- But,” she continued to panic, “I’m not even your type.”

“I don’t have a type anymore,” he replied. “It’s just you.”

For once, Y/n was silent. She was trying to process the whole thing. She never expected Yahaba to like her back. She then smiled at the thought that he liked her enough for his type to be irrelevant over these past few months.

She took the seat beside him and inched a bit closer. The two still couldn’t make eye contact with each other. They both tried to steal a glance from each other, but when their eyes met, they quickly turned away again. Kyotani and Chiaki just stared at their awkwardness.

“Yahaba,” Y/n’s dad said in a deep voice. Y/n and Yahaba both flinched, not realizing that her dad was there. “I was wondering when you’d finally say something,” he said with a smirk.

*****

Extras that didn’t fit in the story:

Since Yahaba likes ikura don and Y/n likes rice dishes, they eat it all the time on dates.

Kyotani is actually pretty observant since he was conscious of his old teammates talking behind his back. But because he’s stubborn, reckless and just does his own thing anyway, it doesn’t really show through.

Chiaki is the cunning, protective type that looks innocent, but only Kyotani and Y/n know that.

I wanted Y/n to be the daughter of the guy from the community center who watched the Seijoh vs Karasuno match. But if she was, Y/n would have a (last) name. lol.

I hope you liked it! I actually had a hard time getting “clown funny” down. Other types of funny come more naturally to me (like sarcastic, teasing, and punny.) So I got some ideas from the webtoon Odd Girl Out with Mirae as a character model.

I also had a working name for Y/n because I write better that way. I might also post on fanfiction.net with the working name because they technically don’t allow reader-inserts. But I might not do it because it’s more work. lol. I actually initially started posting stories on FFN.

Check out my other stories too. :) I’m hoping to build a collection of them with all of the requests.

[Part 1] [Part 2]

[Masterlist]

[buttdawg]

All Out 2020 Predictions

Just gonna run down the card here, because I keep forgetting what’s on this show, and it is stacked.    

Side note: Looking this up on Wikipedia made me sad, because the article points out that the show was originally planned for a whole other venue before the pandemic started.  I had gotten so used to every AEW show being held in Jacksonville, that I had forgotten the good old days, when they could run every show in Chicago.

Casino Battle Royale, winner gets a shot at the AEW title

I thought they gave up on this stip when they did the Casino Ladder Match at Double-or-Nothing.   Here’s a dumb thought: Ditch the casino nonsense.   The last two casino battle royals were kind of dumb, because they sent out five guys at a time, and then the 21st guy got to come out last by himself.   The problem I had was that I had no idea who half the participants were, and sending them out in fives made it that much harder to keep track.  

Anyway, this time around it’s easier to just list them by faction.    We have

Eddie Kingston’s group (Eddie, Butcher, Blade, Pentagon Jr., and Rey Fenix)

Team Taz (Absolute Ricky Starks and DA MACHEEN Brian Cage, who is also the FTW World’s Heavyweight Champion of the World, Excalibur)

Gunn Club (Billy Gunn and Austin Gunn)

The Inner Circle (Jake Hager, Santana and Ortiz)

Best Friends (Chuck Taylor and Trent)

Lance Archer

Darby Allin

Wait that’s only 16 guys.   You know, it’s been a long time since I learned the rules to Blackjack, but I think that’s about where you want to stand pat.    If you take another card, you’re much more likely to go over 21.    Anyway, I hope Warhorse ends up in this match somehow.   I guess I’ll pick Eddie Kingson to win, since he’s got the most guys helping him.  

No, wait, fuck all of that shit.   Lance Archer wins everything.    Call this Casino Battle Royale a George R. R. Martin novel, because Everybody Fucking Dies.

The Dark Order (Brodie Lee, Evil Uno, Stu Grayson, Colt Cabana) vs. Scorpio Sky, Matt Cardona, Dustin Rhodes, & QT Marshall.  

This is like the Dark Order vs. the Dark Order Revenge Squad, trying to make Brodie pay for beating the shit out of Cody.   I saw a video package for this on Dynamite yesterday, and it was fucking stupid, because they wanted me to believe that the good guy team are “four badasses”, even though one of them is QT Marshall for crying out loud.   They do this horseshit all the time, where a group of babyfaces try to gang up on the Dark Order, but it never works because the faces never bring enough guys.   There’s like eight or nine dudes in the Dark Order, so unless your team has ten or eleven, you’re gonna get your asses kicked.    Brodie killed Cody like he was nothing, so why am I supposed to believe Dustin has a chance in hell?  

The last time Scorpio Sky was on one of these anti-DO posse teams, it was with Colt Cabana and his partners in SCU.    Well, Colt ended up switching sides, and apparently Chris Daniels and Kazarian aren’t even booked, so that tells me what I need to know.     Dark Order wins.  

Britt Baker vs. Swole in a Tooth and Nail Match.

I don’t know if “Tooth and Nail” is an actual stipulation, or if they’re just calling it that for promotional purposes.  I wish they’d spell out the rules to these things instead of just calling out the names of matches like catchphrases.   Swole would look pretty dumb if she loses this, so I’m picking her to win.  

Matt Hardy vs. Sammy Guevara  in a “Broken Rules” Match.

Wikipedia says this is a Last Man Standing match, so maybe they should have just called it that?  I mean, less than a month ago Matt claimed that he was ditching all his characters for the duration of the pandemic, and now he’s right back to chanting “Delete!” like nothing changed.   I heard a lot about Matt’s cinematic universe run in Impact, but so far I’m not overly impressed with his run in AEW.   He just makes a bunch of callbacks to stuff he did in WWE, Impact, and ROH like I’m supposed to know or give a shit about that time he was a douchebag.     If Matt loses, he’s supposed to leave AEW, but I’m pretty sure this is a trick, and he’ll just come back as “Leviticus” and pretend to be a robot from outer space.   I don’t think I care who wins.

Jurassic Express vs. The Young Bucks.

Why are these guys fighting?    I feel like they already did on TV?    I’m gonna pull for JE to win this one.    I think the Bucks might be my favorite act in AEW, but I mostly enjoy seeing them get the shit beat out of them.    Yeah, kill the Young Bucks.   

Chris Jericho vs. Orange Cassidy in a Mimosa Mayhem Match.

You can win Mimosa Mayhem by pinfall, submission, or dumping your opponent into a big tank of mimosa.    I guess this is a way for OC to win their feud without actually pinning Jericho twice?    Alternately, the loser can get pinned, only to dump the winner in the tank to get a moral victory.    I’ll go with Orange to win.  

AEW Tag Team Championship: Kenny Omega/Hangman vs. FTR

Now that they finally kicked Hangman out of the Elite, and FTR has finally stopped pretending not to be heels, and now that Kenny Omega finally seems to give a shit about his tag team, I think this program could finally lead to something cool.    I sort of want FTR to win, just to move the Hangman/Omega angle onto the next stage.     If the tag titles are the only thing keeping that team together than we need to see what happens without them.  

Also, I want FTR to defend the titles against Santana and Ortiz.    Yeah, no offense to Omega and Hangman, but fuck this Elite Drama Bullshit, gimme FTR vs. PnP.

AEW Women’s Championship: Hikaru Shida vs. Thunder Rosa.

Fuck yeah, this is the real main event right here.    Thunder Rosa kicks ass, and now she can show her stuff without the nonsensical soap opera booking found in the NWA women’s division.   The last time I saw Thunder Rosa in NWA, Melina had inexplicably declared that she had a title match against Rosa, but when the match actually happened, Melina just rolled out of the ring and took a countout.    Seeing Eddie Kingston, Ricky Starks, and Thunder Rosa has opened my eyes to a lot of problems in NWA.

Anyway, here’s the AEW storyline for Thunder Rosa: Shida wanted competition, and Thunder Rosa showed up to kick her ass and take her belt.   I suspect Shida’s going to win, because Rosa’s NWA title isn’t on the line, but I’m rooting for Thunder Rosa to become the double champ.  

AEW Men’s Championship: Jon Moxley vs. MJF.

I want Moxley to win, although I’m not 100% sure this isn’t MJF’s time.   It feels too soon, but I didn’t think Moxley would win the title from Jericho back in February either.   Also, if Moxley loses the title, it might make it easier for AEW and NJPW to open the Forbidden Door long enough for him to defend the IWGP U.S. title against KENTA.    Is that worth putting the world title on MJF?   Probably not, but it’s fun to think about.  

I don’t understand this feud at all, because MJF has been “campaigning” for a world title shot, even though he’s the #1 contender and he’s undefeated, so I’m pretty sure he could just request the match and he’s all set.    MJF has also successfully lobbied to have Moxley’s finisher banned from their match, but what if Mox uses it anyway?   They’d just disqualify him and he’d retain the title, right?    Or maybe the ref would just stand there and let him do it anyway, because that seems to be how AEW referees do things.   

I really don’t get why MJF wanted the Paradigm Shift banned.   He got hit with one like two weeks ago, and he acted like it half-crippled him, but then he revealed it didn’t hurt him that badly, so why does he care if he takes another one?  MJF also seems to have this thing going on where he pretends to be this high-road-taking “pure wrestler”, who can out-finesse Moxley’s brawling style, but we’ve seen MJF just go apeshit and use hardcore tactics himself.  

This is kind of an aside, but I find it funny when Jim Cornette acts surprised when people accuse him of playing a character on his podcasts.   He’ll be like “No, no, you don’t understand, I really hate Vince Russo and Kenny Omega and I want them both dead for not respecting kayfabe!”    The thing is, wrestlers like MJF and FTR are out here repeating a lot of Cornette’s talking points on TV, specifically to get heel heat.   They praise themselves for being workhorses who stick to the fundamentals, but they’re hypocrites who use gamesmanship and trickery to get ahead.    So people hear Cornette blowing a gasket about Joey Janela and they just assume he’s being some sort of cartoonish supervillain character to sell his merch, because the alternative is too absurd to contemplate.    It’d be like MJF assuring people that he really does bloody people up with his diamond ring in real life, just like he does on TV.   

Anyway, I’ll stick with Moxley, but if MJF wins, I’ll be more intrigued than disappointed...

[queenofthefallenangels]

Ending 1: Revenge

Gif credit to @baron-thirst-club

Thank you @elliotaldersonns helping me find it

Baron Corbin x Reader X Seth Rollins 

Summary: You decided to get your revenge on Seth for dumping you. 

Tag Team: @sithlita @sunnytkm23 @vonschweetz @sassymox @zavidzobrik @lilred91 @deadpoolgirl23 

A/N: This took longer than I wanted. I hope you guys like it. The next one should be soon. Hopefully, you enjoy this.  

The First Part 

I sighed as I pulled on my referee uniform for tonight's match. I tied the shirt up just above my belly button to show off my new belly button ring. It was a little more risque than what I normally wear, but I wanted to look good tonight. Just to show Seth what he was missing when he dumped me for Becky. It would also make it sting more when I decided to play dirty. His words had rung in my head. He really didn’t think I could fight dirty. He thought I was just a baby face that followed the rules in the ring. While I was going to prove him wrong. I was going to prove the whole WWE universe wrong. It was my turn to shine. My turn to prove to everyone there is more to me than what meets the eye. 

I looked in the mirror fluffing my hair when there was a knock at my door. “It's open,” I yelled as I checked myself in the mirror one last time. | There was a whistle from behind me. “Damn girl, you look fine,” Baron said from behind me. 

I smiled blushing. “Stop it,” I said hitting him playfully. 

“I can’t help it. I can’t help, but wonder why Seth let a girl like you go in the first place. You are fine as hell. Ten times better than Becky. His lost, I guess. My gain, for sure,” Baron smiled at me. 

I giggled blushing, “Stop. Please.” I took a deep breath, looking at myself one more time in the mirror. “I can’t believe I am doing this.” 

Baron came right close behind me, “Trust me, you will feel ten times better after we destroy Seth and take his title away from him. It is perfect revenge. He will regret the day he ever laid eyes on Becky Lynch." 

I nodded, but couldn't silence that voice in my head nagging me. It was nagging me not to go out there and do this. That this wasn't right. I ignored it though. I have done what's right for too long. Now it was time to do something that was wrong. 

The match soon began, Rollins was first going out to his music than Baron. 

"So, we have all been waiting, Baron," Seth said into the mic. "Tell us who is the ref." 

Baron smiled. "Funny you should mention that." He said stepping aside. My music filled the arena as I stepped out. "I believe you know, (Y/R/N)." 

Seth shook his head. "Pretty damn well." He smiled. "I think you might have messed up with who you picked." 

Baron had a sinister smile on his face, "Oh trust me, I don't think I did." 

I signaled for the bell to be rung so the match can begin. The two men began to fight each other. The match went on for a bit with not much for me to do, but watch and dodge moves. Baron soon slides out of the ring to get something. He soon returned with a steel chair. Seth looked over at me hinting at me to say something. Anything. I didn’t pay it any attention though. I looked at my nails making sure they weren’t chipped. 

“Really?” I could see Seth mouth, but I continue to ignore him. I could see Baron out of the corner of my eye move to bash him with a chair. He hit him repeatedly over his back just like Seth had done to him. 

“What is she doing?” Micheal Cole said. “She does know this is illegal to have the chair and she does know that is legally and Baron cannot win in a match like this.” 

 I sighed looking up from my nails before looking at the announcer to make this match a no disqualification match.

“Is she actually going to do any work or is she just going to sit there and file her nails?” Renee asked. 

“I could ask you the same thing half the time, Renee. You don’t seem to do much of anything either half the time.” Corey said towards Renee.

"At least I pay attention when I am supposed to instead of messing with my nails.” Renee spat back. 

The match moved on just like that for a while. Seth had gained the upper hand deciding that fighting fair wasn’t the way to go. He went to get the pin holding Baron shoulders down. He looked over at me expecting me to get down and count. I did, but I stopped at two before pulling out my phone to pretend I got a text message. I couldn’t hide my smug smile. 

Seth’s face was red with anger as he got straight in mine. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?” He asked knowing that the audience couldn’t hear what he was saying. All they could see was his lips moving. “Is this cause of what happened between you and me?” 

“Are you seriously asking me that? Of course, it is.”

“I never thought you would sink to this level.” He shook his head like a disapproving father. “This is petty even for Baron. You are purposely trying to make me lose a match and lose my belt, all because we broke up.” 

“So, what? You want me to keep just pretending that I am not hurt by what you did? That you didn’t just dump when someone better came around. That you are running around like I never existed or that you even loved me. Did you even love me or was that just lie til you could find someone better than me?” 

“(Y/N), stop this! You know I loved you! I didn’t want to hurt you like I did, but I also couldn’t go around pretending like I didn’t have feelings for Becky also. I tried to do what I thought was best.” 

“Explaining it to me would have been a good start. Not just saying it's over text message than run around all happy with Becky the next day like I never existed would have been better than what you did.”

Seth ran his fingers through his hair, “I thought it would be what was for the best.” “Just admit, Seth. You found someone better so you dumped my ass.” 

“I didn’t do that, (Y/N). Stop trying to put words in my mouth to make your ass feel better about doing this sick trick.” 

Seth and I were too busy fighting that neither of us had noticed that Baron had gotten up from the ground. He came back with the chair smashing him from behind. Seth tried to get up on his feet. As soon as he did, I pushed him right into Baron’s arms. Baron set him up perfectly for the end of days, Seth unable to even fight back as it happened.  He pinned him after it. I went down on the ground fast for the count. I counted faster than I have ever counted before. 1, 2, 3. The match was over.   Baron was the new universal champion. I handed him the belt and he took it from me holding it over Seth’s body laying on the ground. He groaned sadly not moving from where he was pinned.  

Baron snaked his free arm around me, he pulled me close to him. “Thank you.” He said. I couldn’t hear it over the crowd booing and cheering. They mainly booed, mainly chanting that ‘this is bullshit’. I didn’t care. Baron had been right about one thing. Revenge felt good as I looked at Seth laying on the ground. I didn’t have one ounce of regret as I looked at his lifeless body. I felt Baron move me towards him. His lips were soon pressed against mine. I kissed back wrapping my arms around him too lost in the moment to care about what the crowd thought. 

All of a sudden, Becky Lynch’s music hit the arena. She came running towards the apron not taking long before she grabbed me away from Baron to set me up for an attack. She knocked me to the ground throwing punches in my face. I covered my face fast, trying my best to get out of her. Baron grabbed her from behind. He held her tight for me. “Do it, (Y/N).” She mouthed. “She stole your man away from you.”  

My eyes went dark as I began my attack. My brain that would normally tell me against this, to be the bigger person. She had just had a match of her own that was brutal and she had to still be sore, but fuck being the bigger person. I kicked her right in the stomach. She doubled over falling out of Baron’s arms. I didn’t stop my attack there. I kept kicking her till she was out. I grabbed her belt from her. “This is going to be mine,” I yelled in her face. 

I smiled walking back over to Baron. I took his arm and lifted it into the air as his music began to play. 

[roidesroix]

tag game ♡

Dudes (she says as though she has an actual fan base) I was tagged by @davidwymack which is literally so sweet because I’ve never been tagged in anything before adjkshajkshlsk

name: Rachel

nickname/s: Gretchen, Mini [insert my last name], Tater Tot (really old), Dad, midget (ugh)

height: 5′0

nationality: sadly American

favorite fruit: apples, grapes, peaches, watermelon

favorite season: summer with fall as a close second

favorite scents: chocolate, vanilla, freshly baked waffle cones, ice cream, pine, cinnamon, mint, bonfire

favorite color/s: grey, green, blue

favorite animals: cats, bears, cows

tea, coffee, hot cocoa: none, I hate hot liquids

average hours of sleep: like 4 lol

when my blog was created: oh jesus uhhhh I have no idea a long time ago

# of followers: technically 139 but like max 7 are real people so hello to you 7 I love you and I support you and you are valid

random fact: I used to play competitive travel soccer and I had always been trained as the goalkeeper but I wanted to play defense and everyone doubted my capability because I was only 4′10 at the time and they only wanted me in goal and my coach wanted me to be a center striker but I refused and played defense and would literally TACKLE players over twice as tall as me and weighed twice as me and would knock them on their asses or send them flying out of bounds/into goal posts like an NFL linebacker and I got called out by refs every game for fouling too hard/too much and was told by refs to essentially knock it the fuck off but I would never listen and it go so bad that parents/coaches/players of the opposing teams would scream at me when I would play on their side and would scream at the refs to red card me and send me off because I was a monster and I would purposely try to injure strikers who were too arrogant because I had a personal vendetta against strikers and yeah lmaooooo

favorite food: tacos, ice cream, french fries, alfredo-based pasta, pad thai, most desserts ... I am the startling image of peak health lol

favorite tv shows: Shameless, Peaky Blinders, DARK, Stranger Things, The Office

favorite movie: Hercules, Lilo and Stitch, Mommy (by Xavier Dolan), I Killed My Mother (by Xavier Dolan), Goodfellas, Kill Your Darlings, Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3

favorite vine: um all? but the one with Mariah Carey hitting those really screaming high notes while the lawn mower flies around the sky always fucking SENDS ME

sexuality: ace

pronouns: she/her

favorite book series: PJO, GONE, Leviathan, I’ll add AFTG just cuz idk

favorite video game/s: Legend of Zelda, Mario Kart, Super Mario Bros, Mario Galaxy, Call of Duty, Kirby, Super Smash Bros Brawl (I have gotten into many a fist fight over that game)

favorite subject: algebra/calculus, biology/microbiology, psychology, French/Russian

guys or girls: depends on what is being asked haha. sexuality wise then guys, in terms of just people then it depends on their personality and my mood

last time i cried: usually like once every 2-3 years no joke but to be truthful a month ago because I went back to see a therapist on campus and was told I was most likely bipolar and was forced to see the university psychiatrist on Halloween for a full diagnosis and I had to call my parents and tell them about the psychiatrist and it was just a very hard thing to come to terms with but I’m fine now lmao I got meds and support and life is getting better

hair color: light brown

what i should be doing: my damn genetics reading and 1000 projects because I’m like a week behind on my personal schedule and finals are fast approaching

favorite fandoms: I guess probs just AFTG but I’m a hardcore silent lurker so nobody knows hahahaha

tagging: @ange-de-jeudi @tryingtoohardtobeaesthetic because I love you and I 100% know for a fact you’re real people and anyone else of my followers who are so desperately wanting to

[vertigoambrosia]

i’m really tired and for some reason a lil itchy? let’s distract ourselves with wxw frankfurt

i honestly forgot what half of this card was and i’m really just here for zack/lucky

so last week i was all WHERE’S ALAN; apparently getting married and being on his honeymoon

..fine. i accept this reason as Valid

i see wrestleblogs being hard on marius

omfg he has the fucking fan now? i was about to type that i think people are a lil too hard on him but..no bb

HAAAY PETE HAAAAY

hah rise are so cute now

the only thing cuter than pete and ivan hugging is ivan bracing himself for lucky’s lil finger thing

david added another fucking nickname the shirt i bought at carat is already out of date

*gasp* tommy did you forget??!?!?

lol this is def just so david can update the world on his new nickname

was this always a 4-way? i don’t remember emil

whatever

seriously though i think people are a bit too hard on marius re: crowd reactions, but the whole ninja thing is...not good

with the fan it’s officially combat orientalism

this is a very silly spot

‘all the originals from rise’ uhh

@madnessinjelly i’m just tagging you in this cause i forgot your url for the walter creepshot post and i feel bad

silly crowd, rise is good now!

doing this just a week after true colors feels really weird; nobody’s used to ivan as a face, there’s not really much story/leadup to a lot of the matches, and the biggest events of true colors can’t even be addressed because walter was off winning the pwg title

david’s trunks are pretty psychadelic

ok i poked fun at the sillier spots but david getting fucking kicked in the face after the fakeout was pretty funny

u, no cmj this trials thing doesn’t make a ton of sense but whatever

aww he cut his hair - the blond mullet was kinda growing on me

it’s also yellower, risn’t it?

it’s too nad i know the result of this match cause i wanted hope for dragan

also for andy to get reckt

people who cheer andy are Bad

and also entirely men

i worry about wher dragan’s character is going

i don’t really want a sereies of dragan geting beat up and being sad, even it there will eventually be a payoff

but it’d be weird and confusing to turn him also

ngl though i do love that dragan’s story is ‘came to wxw to sell drugs, found a more wholesome line of work in wrestling, won over the crowd’

it’s one of those wxw things that makes no sense and yet perfect sense

emil as a face is so. weird.

or at least him havivng a face that looks like my boss that i can’t stand

melanie vs kelly i’ve never seen this match before...

at least melanie’s lok continues to be fuckign great

veterans and rookies....if wxw did intergender matches it’d be funny to see mella and andy tag together

obviously i don’t speak german, but that promo seemed pretty good from what i could pick up

also i like that mella (if i’m not mistaken) purposely did the promo in german instead of english cause kelly doesn’t speak german

damn melanie!

...maybe someone should ring the bell?

who dis new ref

ok i take back my sarcastic remark earlier i like this match’s vibe

it’s just fucking brawling

‘this is hashtag beatdown’ lol cmj that was 10000% less cool sounding than you thought it was

mella don’t get counted out

a Bad End for kelly, but a Good End narrative-wise; i was legit kinda afraid that kelly would have a miraculous comeback=

i hope the recaps from shotgun less than a week ago don’t become a Thing; it just points out how there’s not enough to make a full video package

i swear the barely a shirt thing bobby is doing always screams ‘douche’ to me

in this case it’s fine, but like.....why is it a thing

you took a perfectly nice shirt and made it a big ol bib

i wonder what other qualifier matches will be for tag league; i like the idea

i’d guess arrows of hungary

nothing to do with wrestling but WHY DO I HAVE THE RESTLESS ANXIETIES

i did stuff today so there’s no reason to be restless and absolutely nothing worrying has occurred. i would have like, a beer but i haven’t been sleeping normally lately and alcohol will only make it worse. perhaps a popsicle will help, because i am a fat american who eats away anxiety

anyway

after the speedball match i cringe every time bobby even kust teases breaking fingers

nothing’s gonna be as gnarly as that, i think

hahaha it sounded like christian accidentally said ‘anal’

[can you tell i’m not very focused on this match]

[or in general]

wow did they really just do the powerbomb tease to guilltine choke to run into the turnbuckle twice? for a split second i thought vimeo had skipped or something

i’d like an extended shotgun title plotline

aj must be happy jurn is injured because now he can definitively have the Nicest Cape

i appreciate frankfurt booing heels the second they have a mic in their hands

...weren’t the emil sitoci signs from past frankfurt shows? Good Fans

‘vee ecks vee’ hahahaha fucking perfect

hahaha the ‘shitty american refuses to learn german’ thing is such cheap heat in the most fun way

dammit ilja getting injured though...boi pls

OH FUCK HE TALKED SHIT ABOUT CONSTANTIN

i am SO HERE for this feud

tas is all like ‘please ilja i will do anything if you calm the fuck down’

god aj is such a shithead

get rekt

and here we see the downside of having no chill: headbutting people when your head hurts can make your head hurt more

i’ve never actually seen icarus and dover fight together; they broke up a while ago in GWF

i like icarus weirding out that kid

monster consulting just make me so happy

a monster of a man and the certified career consultant: the best matchup

hahaha ‘you fucked up’ indeed

oh i didn’t know icarus and dover were brothers...gwf really went all out in 2017 with the brother betrayal storylines, didn’t they?

they haven’t done any more of that show i was watching but they post enough free content that i feel bad about not bothering to watch it anymore

i can’t be too surprised that they haven’t though because it had some pretty slick production, so it probably takes a while to make (and isn’t cheap either)

hah in the wide shot you can see avalanche hiding on the floor

man thta was some good timing on the swanton bomb to break up the pin

christian is really putting over the arrows; hopefully that means they’re sticking around for a while

hay pete haaayyyy

rise just talking about their feelings and hopes and dreams

did pete forget his trunks at home

ugh look at this attractive boy

‘john is gone, ilja is champion, and rise is wholesome...because you all are wholesome’

pete bb pls don’t lose this match

ok everything after ‘we are all rise’ to ‘bouncer gegen mack’: ???????

here comes the purest member of rise

[not always the most wholesome, but the purest]

..tarkan is totally gonna ruin everything at some point, isn;t he?

awwwww that was super cute with the kid

oh boy here comes best boy

i already miss him in evolve, particularly in la boom where he could do literally no wrong

best boy even when he’s being an asshole to smoller noodle boys

(see: darby allin)

*zack voice* wtf is this boychild

damn that neck crank was disgusting

hahaha zack responding to shitty fans is always great

‘japanese stranglehold’ interesting...we usually call it a straitjacket hold here

damn lucky’s got a karate chop

“what is this?????” - common reaction during zack sabre jr matches

this is a fun match, but i can’t tell if the pacing is a bit off or if my brain is just being tired and distracted

TARKAN

lucky!!!!!

a good boy

ok shut me up about the pacing

and zack ends another match with the classic ‘what the fuck is that????’

and the classic ‘undo the strings on my trunks the second my match ends’

heel zacky is so weird???? at least outside of new japan? like, i’m interested but new japan feels liek a completely different world whereas wxw seems more connected to like, evolve

or, more likely, i am just ~sensitive~ about best boy who is not really best boy anymore i guess,, is he?

[nah irl he’ll always be best boy]

[avanneman]

Kevin Williamson, more peccant than impeccable

There’s a bit of a to-do in the blogosphere regarding the recent hiring of Kevin “Mattress Face” Williamson1 by the Atlantic, one that leaves me, remarkably enough, on the side of the ululating left, who are (mostly) mad at Kev’s pathetically “provocative” “jest” that women who get abortions should be hung.2

I don’t think old Kev is all that funny or incisive or anything else. Just because he’s an anti-Trump conservative, which are rather the rage among what I would loosely describe as the “neocon libs”—people like Washington Post editorial page honcho Fred Hiatt, New York Times editorial page honcho Joseph Kahn,3 and (surprise) Atlantic editor Jeffrey Goldberg—is no reason to give him a job. To generalize wildly (and why not? It’s after five!), all these people are deeply disgusted that Donald Trump is president and want to build whatever coalitions they can.

Well, Kevie boy is not the kind of guy I would nominate as a coalition builder of any sort. I’ve railed a number of times at his brand of “high-low” bad-ass snottiness, and I’m going to do so again, hoisting Mr. Mattress Face on his own petard, via a link Kev provided on the occasion of his farewell to his former employer, the National Review, praising the magazine for allowing him to pursue his “weird little interests — monetary policy in the French Revolution, the techniques of capital punishment, the epistemic problems of political action.”

It was the link to the “monetary policy of the French Revolution” that I followed, a piece written in 2011 and titled rather grandly “Reflections on the Revolution in France” and bearing the subhead “What happens when you cut off heads instead of credit”.

In appearance, Mr. Williamson, with both a bald head and a full, stark, black beard,4 resembles a bouncer at the Ramrod, but his prose is a different matter. Like not a few fellow scribes at the NR, Mr. Williamson treads predictably in the pseudo-mandarin footsteps of William F. Buckley, whom I also generally did not like, emulating Bill’s systematically sesquipedalian prose, an artifice constructed for the purpose of allowing the author to fill up space without the bother or the burden of actually having something of substance to say.5

Kevin begins his essay on French monetary policy with a whimsical, five-paragraph digression on the career of Andrew White, co-founder of Cornell University, among other things, and tireless crusader on behalf of the gold standard, followed by several dozen paragraphs of learned snickering at the folly of the paper money issued by the revolutionary government(s) of France, known then (and now) as assignats, accompanied by frequent sidewise glances at, you know, modern times, to underline the obvious moral that one Barack Obama was taking America down the same road as Robespierre. So you get the picture: Gold money, good! Paper money, bad!

But here’s the thing: France wasn’t the only country to go off the gold standard way back in 1797; the British government did it too, and didn’t bother to go back on until 1819. The U.S. issued paper money during both our Revolutionary War and our Civil War, both of which “we” won. Of course, FDR took us off the gold standard entirely in 1933—to the unanimous horror of all contemporary economists and to the universal approbation of all current ones—and we’ve done rather well ever since.

Kevin concludes his learned essay with the following, supposedly crushing, paragraph:

“According to Cambridge Modern History: French Revolution, the compte rendu of 1788, the final budget presented to Louis XVI — the one that sparked the crisis that ultimately unleashed the revolution and all that came after — featured a deficit of about 30 percent of government spending. Barack Obama’s last one was 46 percent. In May, Paul Krugman began calling for QE3 — ‘both larger and broader-based than QE2.’ Napoleon put France back on gold and vowed that he’d die before he saw paper money being issued again, but he also wore funny hats and wasn’t nearly as enlightened as us.”

Well, guess what, Kev? We’re still not on the gold standard, and Barack Obama took us through the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression using sound, Keynesian/Krugmanite principles, giving the U.S. the largest, strongest economy in the world. I’m considerably richer today than in 2008, and I’ll bet Mr. Williamson is too—that is, if he had enough sense to invest in the stock market, rather than, you know, gold.

Afterwords Mr. Williamson’s supposedly conclusive citation regarding the size of Louie’s last budget is laughable if you know anything about French history. For almost a century, the French monarchy could not borrow money on the open market, unlike Great Britain. Instead, it borrowed through private deals with a few large bankers, replete with secret understandings and hidden payoffs. But by 1788 no one would buy French bonds on any terms whatsoever. The Bourbons went bust for the most bourgeoise of reasons: no one would lend them money. Throughout the recent Great Recession, on the other hand, inflation in the U.S. remained low, and U.S. Treasuries were regarded as the safest investment one could make, all around the globe.

If you’re as old as I am (probably not) you might know that it was once funny to say that someone with a full beard had a face “like a burst mattress”, which, in turn, was funny only if you knew that mattresses were once upon a time stuffed with such “ticking” as straw, or horsehair, or even corn shucks , which inevitably contained corn cobs, to Huckleberry Finn’s memorable discomfort: “there’s always cobs around about in a shuck tick, and they poke into you and hurt; and when you roll over the dry shucks sound like you was rolling over in a pile of dead leaves; it makes such a rustling that you wake up.” Huck would be amazed at our modern orthopedic marvels. ↩︎

Under English common law, abortion prior to “quickening” was not considered a homicide. If any woman who obtained an abortion, or any doctor who performed one, has been executed in the U.S. for that “crime”, I have seen no evidence of it. But I guess Kevie Boy needed some clicks. ↩︎

Kahn is the editorial page editor for the Times but I don’t know if he makes the hiring decisions. Please do not base any conspiracy theories on this post. ↩︎

Does the carpet match the drapes? He’ll never tell. ↩︎

Buckley, in turn, picked this up from such previous worthies such as H. L. Mencken and Albert Jay Nock. ↩︎

[mrheyhellohowareyou]

WWE-ECW TV MATCH BATCH #1

The worst part about the WWECW reboot wasn’t the logo, but Jesus is this shit is hard on the eyes.

The WWE vs ECW Tuesday special and One Night Stand 2006 are both things that I enjoyed a fair amount recently. I wasn’t a  wrestling fan in 2006 so I don’t remember anything about the rebooted ECW, all I know about it is its less-than-stellar reputation. I figure if One Night Stand was the launch then the new show should have started with SOME promise so I’ve been combing through episodes to see what catches my eye.

Episode 2 (6/20/2006)

Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle vs Edge and Randy Orton

RVD is your WWE and ECW champion and riding a HUGE wave of momentum, having pinned World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio (maybe not all that impressive since Rey wasn’t very good at winning right then) in a non-title match at the aforementioned WWE vs ECW special, John Cena at One Night Stand ‘06 for the spinner strap, and would go on to successfully defend against Edge in a fuck-ugly match at Vengeance the Sunday after this show. Kurt Angle is “ECW’s Kurt Angle,” which seems like it meant that the guy was still an overconfident Olympic dickhole, the kinda guy who would slap people on the back of the head while they were covering up on the ground, but the crowd dug it because good guys who act like dicks are an ECW tradition.

Edge and Orton are representing RAW and sports entertainment as a whole if you listen to Joey Styles. Edge comes out first and says that ECW SUCKS, which we’ve heard so many times from so many different people that it ceases to be a controversial opinion. Commentary says this is the first time these two have ever teamed up.

Angle starts with Edge and throws him around a little bit, treating Edge like lumpy trash. RVD comes in to do his moves and Edge tags in Orton so he can take some punishment instead. Rob crotches Orton on the top rope and comes off the top buckle to kick him off, which is kind of a piece of shit move but Randy is a dick so no one cares. Orton and Edge take over when Lita pulls down the top rope and RVD falls to the floor, leaving the heels to take over with crisp tandem offense. Orton is pretty nasty in this match, really putting some malice behind his hits and displaying one of the few things I like about watching him. RVD takes a crazy bump through the ropes headfirst into the announce table and then gets kicked in the face with both of Orton’s heels on a crazy-high dropkick.

RVD creates some separation and tags Angle in, who throws both heels to the mat with German suplexes. Angle goes for Orton’s ankle but Edge pulls him to the ropes, which doesn’t put a full halt to Angle’s offensive tear. Edge comes off the top and gets caught for another German followed by an attempt at an Angle Slam, but he forgets about Orton lying in the corner and gets caught with a chop block to the knee. These bastards are nasty and their teamwork is super solid for a first time pairing, smothering Angle with their teamwork and not letting him breathe. Angle thrown to the floor by Edge and tweaks the chop-blocked knee on the way down, then is into the steps and rolled into the ring. Extreme Angle suprised Edge with a single leg from the ground and goes for a choke, which is broken up by Lita. Joey Styles doesn’t know what “the back” means, which is strange because he was just criticizing King for “not watching the product” very recently. Edge throws Angle into the corner and just gets kicked right in the chest on a charge, giving him an opening for another German and an opportunity for Angle to tag in RVD. Clotheslines and a kick to Edge, a blast to Orton on the apron, step-over kick to Edge and a tope to Orton on the floor. RVD grabs a chair but gets grabbed by Orton on his way back into the ring so RVD chucks the chair at his face (Orton takes a full five seconds to fall down) before getting blasted back to the floor by Edge. Angle grabs Edge’s ankle and ducks a belt shot from Lita then delivers the Angle Slam to her, which the crowd loves because you can take the fans away from the trash but you can’t take the trash away from the fans. Straps are down, Orton back in to RKO Angle, but he makes the mistake of gloating and gets kicked in the face by RVD coming off the top. He then goes for Rolling Thunder but gets kicked right in the face by Edge on the way down. Edge sets up for the spear, gets hit by Rob’s forearem, Five Star Frog Splash and that’s the match. Edge gets pinned clean (as clean as you can in ECW I guess) going into their match at Vengeance

Fun match, went by quickly. RVD bumped around like crazy and everyone had a little spring in their step.

Episode 3 (6/27/2006)

Rob Van Dam vs Kurt Angle

Edge comes out to sit at ringside so he can get a look at who he’s gonna fight at a later date. Taz tries to interview him but Edge calls him short so Taz shoves the mic into his chest. Edge threatens him and says “I know how to choke somebody out too” but I don’t think anybody believes him.

What I like about the build to this new ECW was that it seemed certain wrestlers took the cue of the new format to change their styles to something more appropriate for the audiences’ expectations. RVD’s style resembled the spot-heavy, ridiculously-athletic sprinting pace of old while Angle turned up the nastiness of his character while still playing to what a bloodthirsty crowd would want out of a good guy Olympic wrestler with an insane amount of self-confidence in his amateur skill.

This match… well, you would have no idea that any of this had actually happened by watching this match. Starts with Angle outwrestling RVD (obviously), with Rob showing enough skill of his own to avoid getting fully caught up in Angle’s submissions. Angle keeps on knocking Rob onto his back and killing his momentum and takes over the action. Rob tries going high risk, where he gets caught and gets thrown from the top rope all the way to the floor.

The remainder of the match goes something like this: Angle takes over with holds on the ground but stops fully wrenching away on them after awhile, leaving a little something to be desired in the punishment he’s supposed to be inflicting and the mean streak he’s supposed to be displaying; Rob creates separation a few times but keeps getting caught when he goes high risk, getting dragged back down to the mat. Rinse and repeat. RVD could bump like crazy but it seems like he doesn’t exactly do too well at selling holds. There’s nothing wrong with the formula, solid enough in concept but the two don’t seem to have much chemistry in this match.

After a few back and forths Rob starts to hit his signature offense. Rob eventually hits a tornado DDT off the ropes then anticlimactically climbs to the top rope for a connecting Five Star Frog Splash to end the match.

The biggest detriment to this match was the inconsistency it has with the character-building and stage-setting being done within the new ECW universe at the time as it’s worked like a standard WWE TV main event. Both wrestlers do their thing and have the match until it ends.

Episode 9 (8/8/2006)

Kurt Angle vs Sabu

Would you call this a “dream match?” Somebody has definitely dreamed about this match but I don’t think anybody has ever sat down and gone “you know who would be good together…” and then came up with this.

This shit right here is FAR superior to the RVD/Angle matchup, a lot more competitive with a lot more going on. Angle is smotheringly aggressive and gets a lot of shots in at Sabu, but the Genocidal One’s offense is so outside of what Angle is used to that he is caught off-guard on the regular throughout the match. This is almost the opposite of the last match, where it seemed Angle had RVD’s number until he managed to eek out a win with the high-risk offense, since the two go back and forth taking their best shots at each other and trading places as the dominant one in the match. This is a “non-extreme” match but that almost works into Sabu’s unpredictability: if he can’t use his chair then what’s he gonna try and pull out to gain the advantage?

(Unintentionally) funny bit early on when Sabu puts his feet on the ropes while trapped on the mat and aggressively tries to bring this to the blind ref’s attention. Angle keeps grinding down Sabu and smacking him around until he misses a charge into the ringpost and takes a gnarly bump to the floor after a second charge gets him tossed over. Sabu is pretty crisp here and keeps the action going, keeping himself in logical contention with the Olympic gold medalist, getting in WAYYYY more offense than Rob did in his ECW match with Angle. Sabu’s fists = underrated.

The two trade off spots of dominance, Angle grinding down Sabu and Sabu retaliating with some really “explosive” offense consisting of a mix of strikes, mat wrestling and high-flying craziness, both guys bumping inside and outside of the ring like the fate of the brand depended on it.

Sabu has Angle down and hits a Frog Splash for 2 and then gets his ankle caught, but before anything else can happen RVD comes down and smashes both dudes with a chair because, well, he wants a title shot. It seems like there are other ways to go about that but, y’know, ECW. So of course Rob gets what he wants next week in a ladder match against Sabu.

Almost disappointed this match had to end this way, it was very competitive and I was looking forward to seeing how one man would get the upper hand over the other. Both guys came at each other with purpose and nastiness, intent on cutting the other down but unable to gain a real dominance due to the style clash and the resiliency on display.

If you told somebody that never watched Raw in ‘06 that Angle’s last match for the ‘E would be against Sabu and that it was an actual fluid and entertaining affair, I doubt that anybody would actually believe you

[geektified]

New Post has been published on http://www.geektified.com/2017/04/18/the-raw-expose-welcome-to-monster-mash-monday-starring-braun-strowman-the-big-show-4-17-2017/

The Raw Exposé: Welcome to Monster Mash Monday Starring Braun Strowman & The Big Show (4-17-2017)

By: Keila Cash

  Hello everyone and welcome to another installment of The Raw Exposé. Tonight’s episode of Monday Night Raw emanated from the Schottenstein Center in Columbus, Ohio. The Raw and SmackDown Live rosters were infused with fresh blood after the Superstar Shakeup last week. With the tables reset heading into the spring and summer months, did Raw’s first full week with a revamped roster pay dividends or did they experience a case of buyer’s remorse?

  Elsewhere, Braun Strowman destroyed Roman Reigns in epic fashion last week. Did Reigns channel his inner John Cena by making a miraculous recovery or did the new Big Dog lick his wounds as Strowman continues his path of destruction? The answer to these questions can be found throughout this blog. Without further ado, let’s dissect tonight’s episode of Raw in no particular order.

    Braun Strowman kicked off Raw by gloating about how he put Roman Reigns out of commission after his classic backstage beatdown last week.

  Kurt Angle burst Strowman’s bubble when he announced that Reigns would be well enough to face Strowman at Payback in two weeks. Strowman vowed that it would be Reigns’ funeral and demanded that Angle give him competition or else. Angle didn’t give him a clear answer which caused Strowman to storm backstage as the opening segment came to an end.

  This was a good way to start the show. Strowman was smug and gleeful during his promo, but the crowd reaction was mixed. Logically, he should be booed out of the building but Reigns is a lightning rod when it comes to getting de facto heel heat. It’s refreshing that an actual heel gets booed for being an evil and irredeemable human being for a change.

    I love Chris Jericho’ Lite Brite scarf. It’s so fetching.

  Samoa Joe defeated Chris Jericho when he made Jericho tap out to the Coquina Clutch in a solid match. Jericho had a few hope spots, but the outcome was never in doubt because Joe wasn’t going to lose his first match on a random episode of Raw.

  It won’t be business as usual when Samoa Joe faces Seth Rollins at Payback in two weeks. Joe reminded Rollins of his debut the night after the Royal Rumble. He wanted Rollins to remember his ligaments tearing apart in his knee. That was business, but things would get very personal at the PPV because Rollins defeated Triple H at WrestleMania and put Stephanie McMahon through a table as an added bonus.

  Rollins told Joe that payback’s a bitch as the segment came to a short and sweet end.

  I guess Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows vs. The Golden Truth is canceled as Strowman attacked Goldust and R-Truth backstage. Braun Smash! Braun Crush!

  Big Cass’ Ohio State Buckeyes shout out didn’t go over too well with the Columbus crowd. Tough room. In all honesty, the joke was pretty lame.

  Anderson and Gallows defeated Enzo Amore and Big Cass when Anderson pinned Enzo after dropping him knee first into the top turnbuckle. The finish was a little ugly as it appeared that the referee didn’t complete the three count. Enzo’s shoulders came up, but I never heard the ref’s hand hit the mat. Perhaps there was some kind of miscommunication, but the fans were not ready for the finish based on the tepid reaction after the match was over.

  The match was fine, but Enzo playing the babyface in peril was tiresome in spots. Big Cass took control down the stretch and had the match won until the fluky finish. This was a case where both teams gained nothing by facing each other which is a shame considering the talent involved.

  The Miz and Dean Ambrose’s feud from earlier this year has been re-ignited thanks to an explosive episode of Miz TV.  Miz talked about how he looked and acted like a WWE Superstar while Ambrose wore cheap clothes which afforded him multiple opportunities on SmackDown Live last year.

  However, Ambrose was a blimp on this year’s WrestleMania card while Miz and Maryse were front and center. Miz called Ambrose lazy and complacent which has prevented him from breaking the glass ceiling in WWE.

  Ambrose had a great rebuttal as he explained that his outward appearance didn’t matter because his heart said it all. His love for professional wrestling had no limits. He was willing to shed his blood, sweat, and tears in front of 20 or 100,000 people. After all, Ambrose defeated The Miz to win the Intercontinental Championship to kick off the year in style.

  Maryse got in Ambrose’s face and called him a street rat. Aladdin reference for the win! She talked about how the man makes the championship and called Ambrose a boy which added insult to injury.

  Ambrose told Maryse to hold his mic as he removed several items from his leather jacket before folding it up neatly. Miz went on a tirade about how Ambrose made the IC Title a joke while Ambrose chucked the jacket at Maryse before attacking Miz.

  Maryse hit Ambrose from behind with the microphone which allowed Miz to set up the Skull Crushing Finale. Ambrose wiggled out of the move and was about to drop Miz with Dirty Deeds, but The Hollywood A-Lister made a quick escape as he and Maryse scurried up the ramp.

  I am not a big fan of WWE revisiting this feud, but the mid-card scene is pretty light on star power. Until that situation is sorted out, Ambrose vs. Miz for the IC title is a fine placeholder. For now…

  Kalisto first week on Raw resulted in him being tossed in a dumpster by Strowman. Sad times…

  The Big Show body checked Strowman as he shoved him into the garage door backstage. Big Show vs. Strowman II is set for later tonight. Their first match was a pleasant surprise. Let’s hope lightning strikes twice.

  TJ Perkins defeated Jack Gallagher with the Detonation Kick thanks to an assist from Neville. The first half of the match was good as it featured fluid action throughout. However, the heat cooled off considerably after the commercial break as the crowd reaction was lukewarm at best.

  Jack Gallagher pulling a Mary Poppins liven things up as he laid out Perkins with a Thesz Press while falling gracefully to the floor with his umbrella.

  However, things took quite the turn when TJP tossed Gallagher into Austin Aries while he was watching the match from ringside. Aries got up to confront TJP, but Neville yanked Aries off the ring apron which led to the aforementioned finish.

  This was a nice way to forward the Neville-Aries feud while also giving TJP a chance to shine as a heel who is not above taking a short cut in order to pick up wins.

  Alexa Bliss became the number one contender for the Raw Women’s Championship when she capitalized on Nia Jax’s handiwork by pinning Sasha Banks after Jax laid her out with a Samoan Drop. Bliss kicked Jax out of the ring and picked up the tainted, but completely legal win.

  The Fatal Four Way match featuring Alexa Bliss, Sasha Banks, Mickie James, and Nia Jax was good. It featured solid action throughout and I loved the interaction between James and Banks. Bliss was the ultimate opportunist as she knew what battles to fight and which ones to run away from.

  Jax’s power offense was impressive and relatively safe for a change. Jax needs more seasoning in the ring and WWE’s unique approach of having her learn on the job is exposing her weaknesses instead of accentuating her strengths as a badass who needs to do very little in order to get over. It worked for Strowman. Let’s hope the Powers That Be realizes that when it comes to the presentation of Jax in the future.

  In any event, Bliss will be a nice foil for Bayley heading into Payback while the slow burn heel turn of Sasha Banks continues.

  Finn Bálor made quick work of Curt Hawkins when he pinned Hawkins with the Coup De Grace. I’m glad that Bálor’s concussion scare wasn’t serious as he was back in the ring this week. If Bálor defeated Jinder Mahal in 30 seconds or less last week, that whole forearm to the head thing could’ve been avoided.

  On a lighter note, Hawkins is aware that his sole purpose on Raw is to elevate people to the main event. Smart man.

  Quick Synopsis of Bray Wyatt’s sermon to Randy Orton: There will be hell, fire, and brimstone. Here endeth the recap.

  Chris Jericho putting The Drifter on The LIST made my night.

  Jeff Hardy and Cesaro survived the 10:30 Lull Period of Death by having a competitive one-on-one match which saw Cesaro put on an uppercut party of the highest order.

  The match was solid, but it was a bit one-note due to all the uppercuts. Hardy eventually got back on offense when he grazed Cesaro with Whisper in the Wind followed by a dropkick that sent the Swiss Superman tumbling out of the ring.

  The ending came when both men countered out of their finishes with Hardy coming out on top with the Side Effect followed by the Swanton Bomb for the win.

  The Hardy Boyz and Cesaro & Sheamus shook hands as a sign of mutual respect heading into their Raw Tag Team Championship match at Payback in two weeks. We shall see if the face vs. face dynamic holds up heading into the go-home show next week.

  The Big Show vs. Braun Strowman had another classic battle that featured baseball slides, dropkicks, arm drags, powerslams, kip-ups, chokeslams, and knockout punches. However, the biggest spot of the match took place when Strowman delivered a superplex to Big Show that sent both men crashing down the canvas which caused the ring to implode. The referee flew out of the ring as the crowd popped with shock and elation.

  The ring crew checked on all three men as various camera angles surveyed the damage. Amazingly, Strowman got up and declared himself the winner as Raw went off the air with the Monster among Men celebrating on the main stage.

  The match was a total spectacle and I loved every minute of it. Big Show and Strowman worked well together and told a great story in the ring. Whoever laid out the match did a tremendous job teasing the superplex spot. The fans were on their feet, but their instant gratification was denied which made the actual moment even sweeter when it finally happened.

  This was a great way to end the show and I must give kudos to WWE for spacing out the epic ring implosion moment over the years. Big Show has been a part of all of them and each time it feels special and out of the blue. It’s a trick that will never get old as long as it’s used sporadically. Tonight was no different.

  Overall, I thought tonight’s episode of Monday Night Raw was solid. The show was verging on being so-so until the main event salvaged things. Plus, WWE showed restraint by keeping Roman Reigns off television this week. It would’ve been dumb for Reigns to show up fresh as a daisy after Strowman kicked his ass to the nth degree. Building anticipation for their rematch was the way to go and I fully expect the new Big Dog to show up on the go-home show next week. Perhaps he should bring a bulldozer for added protection against Strowman. Safety first!

  Up until the main event, the Fatal Four Way Match featuring Sasha Banks. Alexa Bliss, Mickie James, and Nia Jax were in the running for match of the night honors. The ladies had a solid outing that might have been the best in-ring work I’ve seen in the Women’s Division since Bayley defeated Charlotte for the championship a little over two months ago. Bliss has one week to promote her match against the Hugger Extraordinaire. With her razor sharp mic work, I am confident in her capabilities to get the job done.

  The rest of the show felt stagnant in spots. Due to Dash Wilder recovering from a broken jaw, The Revival’s push is on hold which causes a bit of stagnation in the Tag Team Division. The Hardy Boyz have to be the standard bearer until Top Guys make their triumphant return. Let’s hope the nostalgia doesn’t wear off between now and then.

  After last week’s Superstar Shakeup, nothing really changed with the exception of Dean Ambrose and The Miz rekindling their feud from SmackDown Live and Bray Wyatt spewing nonsense on the TitanTron. Everything else is pretty much the same. Let’s hope the creative team shakes things up over the next couple of months because the broadcast seems a little wishy-washy outside of Strowman being an indestructible badass. Fingers crossed!

  On that note, this wraps up another edition of The Raw Exposé. I hope you enjoyed it and I will back tomorrow night with a brand new installment of The SmackDown Files. See you later, boys and girls!

[humbertovsheffield]

SEO Best Practices for Canonical URLs + the Rel=Canonical Tag - Whiteboard Friday

Posted by randfish

If you've ever had any questions about the canonical tag, well, have we got the Whiteboard Friday for you. In today's episode, Rand defines what rel=canonical means and its intended purpose, when it's recommended you use it, how to use it, and sticky situations to avoid.

Click on the whiteboard image above to open a high-resolution version in a new tab!

Video Transcription

Howdy, Moz fans, and welcome to another edition of Whiteboard Friday. This week, we're going to chat about some SEO best practices for canonicalization and use of the rel=canonical tag.

Before we do that, I think it pays to talk about what a canonical URL is, because a canonical URL doesn't just refer to a page upon which we are targeting or using the rel=canonical tag. Canonicalization has been around, in fact, much longer than the rel=canonical tag itself, which came out in 2009, and there are a bunch of different things that a canonical URL means.

What is a "canonical" URL?

So first off, what we're trying to say is this URL is the one that we want Google and the other search engines to index and to rank. These other URLs that potentially have similar content or that are serving a similar purpose or perhaps are exact duplicates, but, for some reason, we have additional URLs of them, those ones should all tell the search engines, "No, no, this guy over here is the one you want."

So, for example, I've got a canonical URL, ABC.com/a.

Then I have a duplicate of that for some reason. Maybe it's a historical artifact or a problem in my site architecture. Maybe I intentionally did it. Maybe I'm doing it for some sort of tracking or testing purposes. But that URL is at ABC.com/b.

Then I have this other version, ABC.com/a?ref=twitter. What's going on there? Well, that's a URL parameter. The URL parameter doesn't change the content. The content is exactly the same as A, but I really don't want Google to get confused and rank this version, which can happen by the way. You'll see URLs that are not the original version, that have some weird URL parameter ranking in Google sometimes. Sometimes this version gets more links than this version because they're shared on Twitter, and so that's the one everybody picked up and copied and pasted and linked to. That's all fine and well, so long as we canonicalize it.

Or this one, it's a print version. It's ABC.com/aprint.html. So, in all of these cases, what I want to do is I want to tell Google, "Don't index this one. Index this one. Don't index this one. Index this one. Don't index this one. Index this one."

I can do that using this, the link rel=canonical, the href telling Google, "This is the page." You put this in the header tag of any document and Google will know, "Aha, this is a copy or a clone or a duplicate of this other one. I should canonicalize all of my ranking signals, and I should make sure that this other version ranks."

By the way, you can be self-referential. So it is perfectly fine for ABC.com/a to go ahead and use this as well, pointing to itself. That way, in the event that someone you've never even met decides to plug in question mark, some weird parameter and point that to you, you're still telling Google, "Hey, guess what? This is the original version."

Great. So since I don't want Google to be confused, I can use this canonicalization process to do it. The rel=canonical tag is a great way to go. By the way, FYI, it can be used cross-domain. So, for example, if I republish the content on A at something like a Medium.com/@RandFish, which is, I think, my Medium account, /a, guess what? I can put in a cross-domain rel=canonical telling them, "This one over here." Now, even if Google crawls this other website, they are going to know that this is the original version. Pretty darn cool.

Different ways to canonicalize multiple URLs

There are different ways to canonicalize multiple URLs.

1. Rel=canonical.

I mention that rel=canonical isn't the only one. It's one of the most strongly recommended, and that's why I'm putting it at number one. But there are other ways to do it, and sometimes we want to apply some of these other ones. There are also not-recommended ways to do it, and I'm going to discuss those as well.

2. 301 redirect.

The 301 redirect, this is basically a status code telling Google, "Hey, you know what? I'm going to take /b, I'm going to point it to /a. It was a mistake to ever have /b. I don't want anyone visiting it. I don't want it clogging up my web analytics with visit data. You know what? Let's just 301 redirect that old URL over to this new one, over to the right one."

3. Passive parameters in Google search console.

Some parts of me like this, some parts of me don't. I think for very complex websites with tons of URL parameters and a ton of URLs, it can be just an incredible pain sometimes to go to your web dev team and say like, "Hey, we got to clean up all these URL parameters. I need you to add the rel=canonical tag to all these different kinds of pages, and here's what they should point to. Here's the logic to do it." They're like, "Yeah, guess what? SEO is not a priority for us for the next six months, so you're going to have to deal with it."

Probably lots of SEOs out there have heard that from their web dev teams. Well, guess what? You can end around it, and this is a fine way to do that in the short term. Log in to your Google search console account that's connected to your website. Make sure you're verified. Then you can basically tell Google, through the Search Parameters section, to make certain kinds of parameters passive.

So, for example, you have sessionid=blah, blah, blah. You can set that to be passive. You can set it to be passive on certain kinds of URLs. You can set it to be passive on all types of URLs. That helps tell Google, "Hey, guess what? Whenever you see this URL parameter, just treat it like it doesn't exist at all." That can be a helpful way to canonicalize.

4. Use location hashes.

So let's say that my goal with /b was basically to have exactly the same content as /a but with one slight difference, which was I was going to take a block of content about a subsection of the topic and place that at the top. So A has the section about whiteboard pens at the top, but B puts the section about whiteboard pens toward the bottom, and they put the section about whiteboards themselves up at the top. Well, it's the same content, same search intent behind it. I'm doing the same thing.

Well, guess what? You can use the hash in the URL. So it's a#b and that will jump someone — it's also called a fragment URL — jump someone to that specific section on the page. You can see this, for example, Moz.com/about/jobs. I think if you plug in #listings, it will take you right to the job listings. Instead of reading about what it's like to work here, you can just get directly to the list of jobs themselves. Now, Google considers that all one URL. So they're not going to rank them differently. They don't get indexed differently. They're essentially canonicalized to the same URL.

NOT RECOMMENDED

I do not recommend...

5. Blocking Google from crawling one URL but not the other version.

Because guess what? Even if you use robots.txt and you block Googlebot's spider and you send them away and they can't reach it because you said robots.txt disallow /b, Google will not know that /b and /a have the same content on them. How could they?

They can't crawl it. So they can't see anything that's here. It's invisible to them. Therefore, they'll have no idea that any ranking signals, any links that happen to point there, any engagement signals, any content signals, whatever ranking signals that might have helped A rank better, they can't see them. If you canonicalize in one of these ways, now you're telling Google, yes, B is the same as A, combine their forces, give me all the rankings ability.

6. I would also not recommend blocking indexation.

So you might say, "Ah, well Rand, I'll use the meta robots no index tag, so that way Google can crawl it, they can see that the content is the same, but I won't allow them to index it." Guess what? Same problem. They can see that the content is the same, but unless Google is smart enough to automatically canonicalize, which I would not trust them on, I would always trust yourself first, you are essentially, again, preventing them from combining the ranking signals of B into A, and that's something you really want.

7. I would not recommend using the 302, the 307, or any other 30x other than the 301.

This is the guy that you want. It is a permanent redirect. It is the most likely to be most successful in canonicalization, even though Google has said, "We often treat 301s and 302s similarly." The exception to that rule is but a 301 is probably better for canonicalization. Guess what we're trying to do? Canonicalize!

8. Don't 40x the non-canonical version.

So don't take /b and be like, "Oh, okay, that's not the version we want anymore. We'll 404 it." Don't 404 it when you could 301. If you send it over here with a 301 or you use the rel=canonical in your header, you take all the signals and you point them to A. You lose them if you 404 that in B. Now, all the signals from B are gone. That's a sad and terrible thing. You don't want to do that either.

The only time I might do this is if the page is very new or it was just an error. You don't think it has any ranking signals, and you've got a bunch of other problems. You don't want to deal with having to maintain the URL and the redirect long term. Fine. But if this was a real URL and real people visited it and real people linked to it, guess what? You need to redirect it because you want to save those signals.

When to canonicalize URLs

Last but not least, when should we canonicalize URLs versus not?

I. If the content is extremely similar or exactly duplicate.

Well, if it is the case that the content is either extremely similar or exactly duplicate on two different URLs, two or more URLs, you should always collapse and canonicalize those to a single one.

II. If the content is serving the same (or nearly the same) searcher intent (even if the KW targets vary somewhat).

If the content is not duplicate, maybe you have two pages that are completely unique about whiteboard pens and whiteboards, but even though the content is unique, meaning the phrasing and the sentence structures are the same, that does not mean that you shouldn't canonicalize.

For example, this Whiteboard Friday about using the rel=canonical, about canonicalization is going to replace an old version from 2009. We are going to take that old version and we are going to use the rel=canonical. Why are we going to use the rel=canonical? So that you can still access the old one if for some reason you want to see the version that we originally came out with in 2009. But we definitely don't want people visiting that one, and we want to tell Google, "Hey, the most up-to-date one, the new one, the best one is this new version that you're watching right now." I know this is slightly meta, but that is a perfectly reasonable use.

What I'm trying to aim at is searcher intent. So if the content is serving the same or nearly the same searcher intent, even if the keyword targeting is slightly different, you want to canonicalize those multiple versions. Google is going to do a much better job of ranking a single piece of content that has lots of good ranking signals for many, many keywords that are related to it, rather than splitting up your link equity and your other ranking signal equity across many, many pages that all target slightly different variations. Plus, it's a pain in the butt to come up with all that different content. You would be best served by the very best content in one place.

III. If you're republishing or refreshing or updating old content.

Like the Whiteboard Friday example I just used, you should use the rel=canonical in most cases. There are some exceptions. If you want to maintain that old version, but you'd like the old version's ranking signals to come to the new version, you can take the content from the old version, republish that at /a-old. Then take /a and redirect that or publish the new version on there and have that version be the one that is canonical and the old version exist at some URL you've just created but that's /old. So republishing, refreshing, updating old content, generally canonicalization is the way to go, and you can preserve the old version if you want.

IV. If content, a product, an event, etc. is no longer available and there's a near best match on another URL.

If you have content that is expiring, a piece of content, a product, an event, something like that that's going away, it's no longer available and there's a next best version, the version that you think is most likely to solve the searcher's problems and that they're probably looking for anyway, you can canonicalize in that case, usually with a 301 rather than with a rel=canonical, because you don't want someone visiting the old page where nothing is available. You want both searchers and engines to get redirected to the new version, so good idea to essentially 301 at that point.

Okay, folks. Look forward to your questions about rel=canonicals, canonical URLs, and canonicalization in general in SEO. And we'll see you again next week for another edition of Whiteboard Friday. Take care.

Video transcription by Speechpad.com

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